I have only had four permanent homes in my entire life.
To me that does not seem like very many….but it probably three more than many people I know have had. Yes….I have lived in several different places. When I first started teaching; when I was in the Army; when I lived in South Vietnam. But, they were temporary…..and I knew that at the time. I knew that soon I would be leaving there and going “home”.
To me, a “permanent” home is a place where you know you are going to live….settle down….put roots. It is a place that you have no intention of leaving….at least, not at any time in the foreseeable future.
My four permanent homes have been in Lyons, KS; in Sterling, KS; in Saigon, South Vietnam; and in Valley Falls, KS. Yeah…I am a Kansas boy. Born and raised here, as they say. I have travelled around the world….but somehow I have always managed to end up here in Kansas. I am not sure why that was. Maybe it was fate; maybe it was the only place that I “was sure of”; maybe it was because most of my family and friends lived here; or because I found jobs here; or maybe it was just meant to be. Whatever the reason, for all practical purposes, Kansas has been home for most of my life.
I have never been ashamed about being from Kansas…..even though people have looked at me incredulously, and said, “You live in Kansas?” …..like maybe there is something wrong with it. But, it doesn’t bother me. I would rather live in the land of Dorothy and Oz….and take my chances with a tornado, as awful and destructive as they can be, rather than live under the constant threat of hurricanes and earthquakes. At least, you can take cover from a tornado.
I would rather wake up to the peace and quiet of a Kansas countryside, and look out over the expanses of “flat” land…..rather than wake up to smog, pollution, traffic jams, high cost of living and a high crime rate. We may not have mountains…..but we have endless wheat fields that furnishes the bread for Southern California. We do not have ocean beaches….but we produce the beef that keeps McDonald’s in business.
So….what about these places where I have lived “permanently” during varying periods of my life? The first place was in Lyons, KS. Actually, do not remember as much about it as I would like to remember. It has been a long time ago. The house where we lived is no longer there…..the house and land has been the victim of “urban sprawl”……Lyons, KS style. What used to be a dirt road is now paved. What used to be open fields is now a residential area.
The summer before I entered the 8th grade, we moved to Sterling. This is the first home that I can remember well. Sterling was a conservative little town. It was the home of Sterling College, sponsored by the United Presbyterian Church. There were no liquor stores in Sterling….and maybe there still aren’t. The only place one could by beer was in a pool hall. And….yes, it really was a pool hall….complete with pool tables. I worked for Dillon’s during high school and college. Today, almost every grocery store in the state sells 3.2 beer. But….we didn’t. If you wanted to buy beer….beer to take home….you had to drive to Lyons or maybe Nickerson. I am not really sure, because I didn’t buy beer to take home!
Since I worked for Dillon’s….and worked there for eight years…..I think I knew almost everybody in town. There were only two grocery stores and most people in town shopped in both stores. And, since I carried groceries to customer’s cars, I also knew almost every car in town.
Sterling is my hometown. It is the town I remember the best. It is where I went to junior high school, high school and college….those growing up and coming of age years.
While I was living there, I loved that town. I liked going to school. I liked working at Dillons. I liked my friends. I liked the people who lived in the town. It was a place where I fit in and felt comfortable. I thought I never wanted to leave.
One Saturday morning when I was in college, I was sitting in a booth in one of our local drug stores drinking a Coke with some friends who happened to be hanging out there at the time, too. (And, Yes….it is true. Both our drug stores had soda fountains where you could buy cherry or chocolate or vanilla Cokes…..or cherry limeades….or a chocolate sundae. And, yes…..the high school kids actually would go there to hang out after school or on weekend. It was a place to meet your friends.) Getting back to the story: We were sitting with one of our former high school classmates. She had joined the Navy and had been away for a couple years. She was now a nurse in the Navy. I remember her telling us about all the places she had been……and then she said she never could….and never would….come back to Sterling to live. It was “too boring.”
I…..the other too….was shocked. What? Never come back to this town? The town that I loved….and never wanted to leave! What a snob! She goes away for a couple years….and then comes back and thinks she is better than we are. Wow….I couldn’t believe she was saying all this stuff.
But, as I look back, that is probably the same as it is everywhere….in all small, close-knit towns. That is their world…..until something forces them into reality…..out into the “real” world. Most likely this would be something like going away to college….military service….a job…..getting married. Something that takes you out of your comfort zone…..and into a world that perhaps you never knew existed. For me, it was the military…..but that is a story for later on.
No…..I spent my formative years in Sterling. Living a happy and contented life. Sterling is a small town with a population of 2295 people in the 2010 census……the 7050 biggest city in the USA. Sterling, like most small towns, is gradually losing population, as people move from small towns to more urban areas.
Many scenes from the 1955 movie, Picnic, were filmed in Sterling. Stars such as Bill Holden, Rosalind Russel, and Kim Novak spent several hot summer days in town filming scenes at Sterling Lake. We couldn’t wait until the movie was released to see if we could spot ourself or somebody we knew in the beach scenes. For the record: I didn’t see myself…..although I was there.
Sterling was my home from about 1952 until the latter part of 1962, Basically, I lived at home….except for an experiment in a couple short-term apartments in Hutchinson, where I was teaching at the time.
My only other permanent home in Kansas is where I live now: Valley Falls, KS. At least, that is my mailing address. Technically, I live in Ozawkie Township…..where I vote and where my fire and ambulance protection come from. I lived in the city of Valley Falls for a few years….a few years that I try to forget about. Not because of the town…..but because of where I lived. That is an unrelated story, however.
What can I say about Valley Falls…..keeping in mind that I still live here….or near it, at least. Before I moved to Valley Falls, I was living and teaching in Kansas City, MO. When I made the decision to find a job in Kansas….where I had a regular teaching license….the first thing I did was to turn to the placement bureau of Sterling College, where I had obtained my undergraduate degree. I saw that Valley Falls needed a high school history and government teacher. I looked at a map and found that Valley Falls was actually almost on my way home from Kansas City to Sterling. I set up and appointment for a Saturday morning. After touring the school…..construction on the new addition of the “old gym”, the library, band room, lunch room, etc. was just getting underway…..I was offered the job on the spot. And, I accepted on the spot.
I continued on “home” to my mother’s house in Lyons. At the time, she was living next door to my aunt and uncle. When I arrived, she was at their house….all of them sitting in the back yard. I announced that I had just accepted a new job. “Where?” they all asked.
“In Valley Falls,” I told them.
My aunt looked at me suspiciously and said, “There isn’t any such place as Valley Falls.” But she was wrong. There, indeed, is a place called Valley Falls.
To put it simply…..there is not much here. (Take a look at the pictures on the side.) And, there is becoming less and less as time goes by. It has been sad to watch the decline of Valley Falls over the years……gradually…..little by little….as the years pass by. When I first moved here in 1969, it was a semi-thriving community. There were three grocery stores.
Now there is one. There was a clothing store. Now there is none. There were three or four service stations. Now there is one. There was a small manufacturing company. Now it is gone. There was a car dealership. Ancient history. There was an appliance store….a jewelry store…..a drug store….a feed mill…..a shoe shop….a movie theater. They have all closed. There were two banks. At least three bars. Two or three eating places. Today the downtown area is basically empty.
In Valley Falls…..and I suppose most small towns…..life centers around the school. In fact, the school IS the town. Take away the school…..and you have nothing. Take away the football field, the gym and the baseball field…..and nothing else is left. These places are the center of social life. For all practical purposes, there is no cultural or intellectual life in Valley Falls…..and probably not in most small towns.
Both Topeka and Lawrence are a half hour away. Both of these cities have a variety of cultural and intellectual opportunities….concerts, live theater, lectures, art galleries, museums, exhibitions. For most people, however, these places may as well be a half a continent away. Don’t misunderstand now. I think parents should be involved in the lives of their children. And, I think they should support them. But….I think there is more, though. There should also be a cultural side of life. There should also be an artistic side of life. There should be a spiritual side of life. There should be a side of life that makes people aware of different people, different ways of living, different problems that other people face. And, there should be side that understands and reaches out to these difference. But, again, this approach to life is not unique to Valley Falls. It is no doubt the prevailing attitude in almost every small town.
Even though I have lived here for forty-five years, I am still an “outsider”. And, this is mostly a result of my own choice. My interests have never been centered around a steady and solitary diet of hometown basketball, baseball and football. I don’t know….maybe it is because I came from a town where people….including the young people…..had a more diversified and eclectic interests and leisure time pursuits. Maybe it was because I had already lived in three or four large cities and found the life here to be narrow and limited. Maybe it was because I had already experienced the thrill of travelling abroad and had my eyes opened to new and different worlds and cultures and peoples. There is little doubt in my mind that I would have the same problem if I had stayed in Sterling all my life. The only difference would have been that in Sterling I was an “insider”……whether I liked it or not. A local yokel….a “native”…..or whatever you want to call it…..merely because I was raised there…..went to school there…..went to college there…..had a job there…..had all my friends there….knew everybody there.
But….be that as it may. The fact is that I have lived here for more than forty-five years well over half my lifetime…..and here I am. I am still here….alive and kicking. And, actually, Valley Falls has been very good both to me and for me.
I worked in the public school system for 34 years. And, I like to think that I did a reasonably good job…..that I taught most of my students something important. Things that they would use later on in their life. Things that would make their life more fruitful, more productive, more complete. I think….and hope….that most of my students left my classroom at the end of the year better prepared to advance to the next level of their education…..that I gave them something to build on.
Today, many of my friends are my former students. They are mature adults now, and we find that we enjoy spending time together….that we have many of the same interests….and same values. We accept each other as equals; most of them call me by my first name. And, that is the way I like it. We talk to each other, and interact with each other as mature, responsible adults. To me….this is great. It means that I had a part….maybe just a small part….in helping them mature from children into adults. And now they are productive, respected, contributing members of the community….and of the world.
They are caring, responsible parents. What more could a former educator ask for? My job….and the jobs of other educators….has been carried out successfully…..and now we are truly seeing and enjoying the fruit of our labor.
Valley Falls offered other advantages, too…..one of which is its location. Even though it is a small town, it is located within easy driving distance of both Topeka and Lawrence. Both of these cities offers a wide variety of cultural, educational, recreational and entertainment opportunities…..as much as you can get in a rural Mid-Western setting. What is lacking in a small town can usually be found in a nearby city…..if such a city is convenient. And, lucky for me…..I had two nearby cities.
Kansas City, slightly further away, has the huge asset of an international airport. From here, I could easily fly to any part of the world. Having an international airport in such close proximity also made it possible for me to have a wide variety of visitors from around the world,,,,,something that has become an important part of my life.
And….I dare not forget to mention the fact that living in Valley Falls made it possible to take full advantage of everything that Lawrence and the University of Kansas has to offer. Which shall I say was the most important? The masters degree that I obtained from the University of Kansas? Or the season tickets to K.U. basketball games that I had for thirty years?
That would a difficult call to make. But….I will say that being able to attend every home game for thirty years was incredibly special. And, of course, this would not have been possible if I lived in….let’s say, my hometown of Sterling. So score another point for Valley Falls.
Who knows how it may have turned out…..but it is entirely likely that if I had been living somewhere else besides here in Valley Falls, I may never have had my eight foreign exchange students. It was a couple of Valley Falls residents who suggested the idea to me. They had hosted foreign exchange students for a number of years…..and they were convinced that it would be something I would enjoy. It took some convincing…..but I agreed to try it. And, guess what? It turned out to be one of the most rewarding, enjoyable and interesting things I have ever done.
Not only did I have the opportunity to host some great students for a year….but we have stayed in touch with each other throughout the many years since they have gone back to their native countries and started families of their own. Knowing them opened up an entirely new era in my life…..the excitement and pleasure of foreign travel. Maybe this would have happened if I had lived somewhere else…..but I tend to doubt it. It only happened because I was in the right place at the right time.
Another thing that I will always remember about Valley Falls was the opportunity to work with young people in the area of track and field….in cross country….and in long distance running. It was because of this that I also made many life-long friends. Even though my attempt to introduce running as a lifetime leisure activity more or less failed….and failed miserably……running is still an active part of some of these runner’s lives. Some of them have passed on their love of running to their children…..and the tradition continues.
I could also talk about becoming a home owner during the time I have lived here…..and the joy of paying real estate taxes. I could talk about the opportunity to be elected to a public office. Who knows? Perhaps all of these things could have….and would have….happened somewhere else, too. But….they didn’t. They all took place while I have been living here. So….I am not complaining. Life has been good. And, even as an “outsider”, I still feel that this is where I “live”. And, when someone asks where I live, I always answer, “Valley Falls.” Although when they ask, “Where is your home?” I almost always say, “Sterling.”
The only other place where I have lived with any sense of permanency was Saigon….in South Vietnam. If there is one place where I look back and wish that I had stayed there….it is Saigon.
I lived in Saigon for one year while I was in the Army……and three years while I was working for the International Voluntary Services…..a total of four years.
Saigon has a certain charm that may escape people with no sense of adventure, of imagination, of appreciation for the left-over life of a French colonial city. Underneath the outward hustle and bustle of the traffic clogged avenues and the equally crowded sidewalks, teeming with stalls, kiosks and shops selling everything imaginable to the curious and unsuspecting….and gullible….shopper, Saigon is very much a laid-back city. A city that takes its time. A city that is really in no hurry. Things will get done….eventually….maybe.
Saigon was a city of the incredibly poor….people who lived in makeshift shacks…..and of more affluent people who lived in the old walled French villas, left over from colonial days. Of people who spent their leisure time play tennis at the exclusive sports club….and of people desperately trying to live….even if they had to resort to committing a crime to do it.
My home wasn’t luxurious….and neither was it an impromptu shack pieced together with scrap material. We lived on the outskirts of the city, no far from Tan Son Nhut Airbase….and not far from the horse racing track. We lived in two villas which, I suppose, were also at one time owned by a wealthy Frenchman. The two buildings were connected by a covered walkway. One of the buildings served as the dining hall and kitchen….as well as the dormitory for the female employees. The second building was used as the main office and as thecommunal sleeping quarters for the male volunteers.
Only the members of the administration had private rooms. I lived in one of these rooms, on the second floor of the building. Outside the door to my second floor living quarters was a large rooftop patio, which overlooked the busy, smoked-filled street in front of the house. It was really a pleasant place to sit, especially in the cool early morning before the sun was high enough to create furnace-like temperatures. And, it was a pleasant place to sit at night, after the sun had gone down…..when the searing temperatures had cooled down to a low simmer. However, I really don’t remember anybody sitting out there. Neither did I….at least very often.
My office was downtown. I had a driver who would dutifully and cheerfully drive me to work each morning. Take me back home for lunch. Take me back to the office in mid-afternoon, and bring me back home after I had finished work.
Obviously, my work was not part of the charm of Saigon. The charm lay in the lifestyle, in the Vietnamese culture. It lay in all those long leisure nights sitting in a Saigon bar; in the Saturday and Sunday mornings sipping coffee on the veranda of the Continental Hotel; in the visits to the market places where we wandered aimlessly, looking at the unbelievable variety of colorful and exotic merchandise for sale….but never buying any of it. It lay in the friendly visits to Vietnamese friends’ house, drinking the little cups of tea and eating tiny pastries….always being treated like somebody special. It lay in our visits to little Vietnamese restaurants….away from the downtown area….where we savored bowls of Pho…..the traditional Vietnamese soup made of noodles and chicken or beef. It lay in the excitement of navigating the confused Saigon traffic in my Jeep….playing the constant game of “chicken” and testing the quality of my nervous system.
Aside from the ever-present tensions of a war that was taking place; aside from the constant threat of a random terrorist attack; aside from the perpetual need to be vigilant no matter where I was or what I was doing……living in Saigon was a unique, life-changing experience. It was an experience that will remain in my heart and mind forever…..one that I would gladly do again.
So….that’s it. Those are the four places that I have called home…..and places where I have felt “at home”. There are other places….temporary places: Indianapolis, San Francisco, Hutchinson, Kansas City…..even good old Ft. Leonard Wood! But they were not….and never could be…..”home”. They were merely places to live until I went home.