On Wednesday, December 18, Fayez  Alruwaili and I started our little four day adventure down into the heart of the Ozarks….Hillbilly country. With the car already loaded, we drove out of the driveway at exactly 7:00 A.M…..this may have been a “first” for being on time. And….maybe it was a good omen, too. The trip was great…..from the start to the scary finish.

Maybe one way to enjoy a successful trip is to plan carefully….but have low expectations. And, that is what we did. Before we left….and for a few weeks in advance….everything was planned out in fairly great detail. And…..if you know me…..I am an obsessive planner. But…..and I think this is true….we had rather low expectations. Low expectations in every area except for one: To have a good time and enjoy our rip. This proved to be a good combination.

Fayez and I have an on-going battle or disagreement…..a (mostly) friendly one however….about the value and usefulness of a GPS unit. This on-going discussion would keep thing lively the entire trip. I grew up depending on….and knowing how to use….a map. Fayez puts his faith in the GPS unit. And….I have to admit, the GPS unit did prove to be useful at times….especially in urban areas where it is sometimes difficult and confusing to anticipate….or to read….street signs. For highway driving…..may way….the good old map is the best.

Nevertheless, we managed to find our way to the farm of a friend….Sam Delap…..near Pleasanton, in east central Kansas. Did you ever get a picture of something in your mind, even before you see it? And that pictures sort of becomes reality? And then your “reality” is shattered when you actually see the real thing? This is what happened to Fayez and me in regards to Sam’s farm.

Sam primarily grows nuts….chestnuts, pecans, etc….on his land….along with some persimmons and other various trees. Both Fayez and I had pictured the farm as 50 acres of flat, tillable land. We were surprised….very surprised….but pleasantly surprised….when we actually arrived at his farm. It was a beautiful combination of flat land and rolling hills; of mature trees and tillable soil. It even had a pond and a creek running through it. If it looked this good in the middle of the winter….we can only imagine what it looks like in the spring and summer when the leaves are green and the flowers are blooming.

Fayez and I immediately decided that Sam had gone into the wrong business. This would be the perfect setting for a golf course or some sort of resort. And, I am sure plenty of “nuts” would show up and pay big bucks to stay there!

After checking out a nearby Civil War Monument, we headed to our final destination of the day……Springfield, Missouri. It was here that the GPS played one of its few useful functions. Springfield is bigger than I had remembered to to be. But….the trusty little GPS unit led us to our campground destination.

Actually, we were the only real campers…..along with several permanent or semi-permanent RV dwellers. And, even we “camped” in the most comfortable style possible. We had rented a camping cabin where we slept at night…..complete with a very efficient heater and wi-fi…..and showers across the driveway. But….we were still camping….by out standards, at least. If you have a campfire….and if you cook your food….and sit in front of your campfire at night…..you are camping. Right?

We did all of these things. Before we left home, Fayez had in advance prepared our evening meal…..a typical Saudi Arabian meal. At least, that is what he told me. It was delicious, to say the least….cooked to perfection in the fire. And, along with some good old American potato salad and some chips and dip, we enjoyed a filling satisfying meal. We sat in front of our fire…..trying to keep it burning….and trying to keep the brisk south wind off our necks. It was fun….and that is how we ended a good start to our little vacation.

Early the second day…..Thursday…..we headed down to Branson. It was on this day that it pays to do some planning…..but to have low expectations. To simply enjoy the moment and not worry about “what might have been”. My Number One desire in Branson was to visit the National Tiger Refuge. But a person can only see it as part of a guided tour….something we did not know in advance. Anyways, by the time we got there, the first tour had already started. The two other tours were in the afternoon….too late for us to even consider, if we wanted to arrive in Hot Springs before dark.

Having eliminated seeing the tigers as a possibility, we moved on to Option 2…..visiting a complex called “Hollywood”. It wasn’t quite what I had expected…..but usually nothing is quite what I expect. It is a large complex of various entertainment gimmicks. We turned down a tour of the wax museum in favor of a “mirror maze” and a sort of simulated video game….where the participants were strapped into their chairs on a revolving platform…..and fired a laser gun at creatures as they appeared on the wall.

The two “attractions” cost about $28.00 each…..and lasted approximately 20 minutes….and that is probably being generous. The mirror maze might have been challenging for a grade school kid…..or individual with an IQ of less than 100. But since both Fayez and I have IQ’s slightly above the 100 make…..at least, between us, we do…..the maze did not prove to be very demanding. And….what can I say about the simulated video game? It was more suitable for those people who sit at home all day in a dark room with a video game remote control in their hand.

So much for the city of Branson…..the playground of redneck sophistication and pleasure. We had talked of parking the car and walking down part of the “strip”….just to absorb the atmosphere and to check out up close that opportunities were available. But….alas….we had to move on to our next destination…..Hot Springs, Arkansas.

Depending on the trusty little GPS unit….instead of my more experienced and logical mind…..we took to the open Ozark highways again. Sometime in the mid-afternoon we approached Little Rock…..a place that definitely was not on our agenda…..but instead was a place mandated by the GPS. I am almost sure that it was neither the best route…or the shortest route. But…..there we were….too late to do anything but be a slave to the GPS unit.

Actually, the GPS unit did serve a useful purpose. Once we were within in a hoop and a holler from Hot Springs, the GPS directed us to our campground with surprising ease. As we had been told by the campground owner, we were met at the entrance by a semi-permanent resident, who directed us to our little camping cabin.

The semi-permanent resident who directed us to our camping cabins was, I thought, a rather sinister looking man…..covered with tattoos…..and, I thought, an evil glint in this eyes. Our cabins….the only one in the campground…..was more or less isolated from the remainder of the camping spaces. “The wood is free. Take as much as you want.” the guy told us. Free, indeed. All of the wood was probably 24 inches in diameter…..very ill-suited for starting a fire….of any sort. Fortunately, we had a bundle of wood left over for the previous night…..and we brought it with us. Otherwise, we would have been sitting in the cold and dark.

After fixing our supper…..which consisted of hot dogs and more potato salad and chips and dip…..we retired to the cabin for a game or two of rummy. There was a picnic table inside the cabin….another first for me. It was quite convenient….perfect for playing cards…..since there was literally nothing else to do. With no Internet, no TV…..no nothing….we went to bed early that night. The front door to our cabin had no lock. This was at least a slight concern to me: Remember the sinister looking man with the tattoos?

Obviously nothing happened to us……look! Here I am! And the next morning when I checked in with the camp owner, he assured me that the man and his wife….a woman with even more tattoos and with red bushed-out hair…..were “one of the sweetest couples who we could hope to meet.” And….all of that worrying for nothing. This cabin, although similar to other camping cabins, was probably the best one I have stayed in. It had the standard double bed and a bunk bed…..but it was more spacious and there was more room to move around. And, of course, the picnic table inside he cabin. The heater was very warm….almost too warm. I slept without cover all night…..and was still too warm. But….better too warm than too cold. If there had been Internet reception…..it would have been hillbilly heaven.

Hot Springs is an old tourist town with a series of hot baths which make use of natural hot springs which bubble from the earth. Supposedly they have some sort of medical or therapeutic powers…..along with the power to power to make each person about $50.00 poorer. That is what is costs to sit in one of these baths. Of course, there are other things thrown in….a massage and a couple towels, for example.

We didn’t take advantage of these springs. We did buy a cup of coffee in a coffee house located in one of the bath houses….which we drank on the front veranda while we watched other tourists stroll by. The coffee had its own therapeutic or restorative powers, since it was our first cup of the morning.

All of the large ornate bath house are located on a block called Bath House Row. Back in the “olden days” all of these bath houses did a thriving business. This was probably before modern medicine has sort of ruled out the possibilities of any magic benefits to be derived from these waters. Today, only two of the bath houses are active and used for commercial use. The others are tourists offices or other public or semi-public buildings.

If I had to pick out a highlight of our stop in Hot Springs, it would probably be having my pictures taken in front of “The Home of Bill Clinton” sign. The city is quaint, with lots of good bars….and probably a lot of summer time entertainment…..but it was not a major destination for us…..and we moved on town our final destination of Fayetteville, Arkansas.

After an afternoon of driving though some more hills and trees…..and don’t get me wrong….they are pretty, especially in the spring and summer…..we arrived in Fayetteville around the time the sun was setting. We found our motel, located just off the Interstate, easily. We got checked in, found our room…..and I immediately set up my laptop so I could check my e-mail after a two day absence.

Since the motel had no restaurant or bar, we left in search of one. We first found the University of Arkansas….where Fayez had to take a language proficiency test the next day. Satisfied of its location, we moved on to find a place to eat. Fayez had already checked on the various Arab restaurants in the city. We settled on a Lebanese restaurant. On the surface, it seemed like a good choice. The first bad omen….although we didn’t know it at the time….was that it hadn’t opened yet and we had to wait several minutes in a steady rain. It was only after we got inside….had ordered and eaten our food…..that the bad news showed itself…..in the form of the bill.

The food is ordered as individual items…..and not as a meal. Fayez ordered a variety of different foods….all separate items. The meal was over very quickly. And it was far from satisfying. And…..so was the bill! We paid $48.00 for what I considered to be about $12.00 worth of food. What we had anticipated to be a delicious and memorable meal turned out to be a rip off. But….what could we do? Just chalk it up as a learning experience and move on with out lives! And move on we did……to downtown Fayetteville, which was lively with people that rainy night. It is hard to tell after only one visit…..but it seemed that Fayetteville has something in common with Lawrence: a downtown that is the center of activity. A place where people go to walk, to drink, and to socialize. Even with a steady rain coming down, the sidewalk were crowded with people….and the streets with cruising cars. We ducked into what appeared to be a popular bar……ordered a couple drinks….beer for me and a soft drink for 19 years old Fayez. And, of course, some snack food…..because we were still hungry.

The next day…..Saturday….our final day before returning home…..was devoted to the English proficiency test that Fayez had come to take….the IELTS test. Although we started for the university early enough to arrive in plenty of time for Fayez to take his test……we got caught up in a rather monumental traffic jam. It seems that hundred of people were arriving for some sort of event…..although we never did find out what it was…..nor did we care. When it was apparent that we were not going to arrive at the testing center on time…..Fayez jumped out of the car and started running toward the building……only a few hundred feet from where we were stranded. No….we didn’t just leave the car abandoned in the middle of the road. I drove to the testing center….finding Fayez standing in the parking lot waiting for me.

I had intended to spend the morning walking around the campus of the University of Arkansas. But a steady moderate rain had descended upon the city…..and the temperature had fallen during the night. It was, quite frankly, cold and miserable outside. As as an alternative plan, I put the seat back into the full reclining position…..and went to sleep! I found this to be preferable to walking in the rain and getting soaked to the bone. Have you ever heard the expression, “He is too dumb to come in out of the rain.”? Well…..I am not one of those people. I never even went out into the rain.

Dire weather warnings were posited all over the Internet…..freezing rain, sleet, snow. None of it sounded good. Between naps, I called our neighbor twice to check on the weather conditions here at home. The first call was encouraging…..everything was normal; nothing was falling from the sky. But….an hour later, she called to tell me that it had begin to sleet….maybe mixed with a little bit of freezing rain. Not the news I wanted to hear.

The test lasted longer than I had anticipated….quite a bit longer, in fact. At one point, I had considered going to look for Fayez. I was just a little bit concerned…..although I had no reason to be concerned. It was hardly likely they were going to kidnap him or use him as a sex slave. But, I was concerned, nevertheless. I decided that if he had returned by 2:00/……I would go ask about him. But, as I should have expected, here he came…..with a smile on his face. He felt he had done well on the test…..and he was feeling pretty good about himself. And, I was happy for him, too. I know how hard he was worked to improve him English…..and I have witnessed the steady improvement throughout the year.

But, the celebration mood quickly ended as we made plans to return home. We knew that the weather was not good….lousy, in fact….all the way from Fayetteville to our home. We briefly entertained the idea of staying in Fayetteville overnight to see what the weather would be like the next day, Well, at least, I entertained the idea! Having driven on icy and snow-packed highways for decades…..and knowing how dangerous it is to drive on icy highways……I usually tend to be very cautious. It is better to get there late…..than not to get there at all.

We made the decision, however, to go ahead and start driving. If the highways became too dangerous to derive on, we could always stop at a motel along the way.

A couple sentences does not describe…..or do justice….to our trip home. Sleet and/or freezing rain fell almost constantly the entire trip. Although ice was freezing on trees and utility poles, the highways remained in very good shape for most of the trip. As we drove along, we kept wondering at what point the highways would become slick and icy. Actually, aside from a few rough patches in southeast Kansas, there was no problem until we turned onto the Ferguson Road at Perry. At this point it was apparent that no maintenance crew had touched them……and it was also apparent that few, if anybody, had actually driven on the road.

But….to digress a bit. We stopped in Nevada, Missouri, at Kentucky Fried Chicken….KFC. This KFC is the only KFC that I know of that has an all-you-can-eat buffet. Robert and I had stopped at this restaurant several years before…..and I wasn’t sure it still existed. But, when Robert reminded me about it…..it became an almost major destination. We found it…..we ate until we were satisfied…..and we hit the road again.

We arrived back at our house around 8:30…..only about an hour later than it would normally have taken….and this included our stop at KFC for supper. We had done well….and we were happy and relieve….and thankful….to be back home again.

Instead of staying “we” did well…..I must say that Fayez did well. He drove the entire distance between Fayetteville and our house. And, he did a remarkable job. I was proud of him…..and he gained some valuable life experience. Experience that will serve him well the longer he stays in Kansas.

We started our trip on a happy note….and we ended our trip on a happy note.