Back in 1993, suddenly my household was no longer a single person household. One day in mid-August, it became a two person household…..and it stayed that way until 2001. And, then just as suddenly…..it became a one person household again.

Those eight years were some of the most satisfying years of my life. And, when it came to an end, it most certainly left an empty spot in my life. Those were the years that I had a foreign exchange student living with me…..except for a couple unhappy exceptions, that I constantly try to forget even happened.

Let me tell you how all of this happened. It definitely was not by design….it was not planned. In fact, it came about purely by accident……and maybe by lucky coincidence…..maybe by fate. Who know? But….it did happen. And I am a better person because of it. My association with eight—-again, give or take one or two…..outstanding young men enriched and enlightened my life in ways that I had never anticipated. And, the experience keeps on giving, even until today.

After I retired in 2003, it was no longer practical for me to host high school students. While I was still working at the school, it was a perfect situation. They could ride to school with me in the morning…..and ride back home with me after school. I may be generous and benevolent…..but, I am also practical…..and a little bit selfish, too. For eight years I woke up at 5:30 A.M…..got myself ready to go to work…..and then about 6:30 A.M., it was time to wake up the exchange student so he could get ready in time to leave for school about 7:15 A.M. And….let’s just say that waking up a sleeping 17 or 18 year old boy is not the easiest job in the world. It takes persistence….and sometimes a very loud voice.

When I finally retired….after sticking it out until the bitter end…..I was no longer in the mood to rouse myself out of bed at 5:30…..especially not for the sole purpose of driving a kid to school. Call me selfish…..but…well….just call me selfish. And….add to that….I would have to be at the school at 3:30 to pick him up and take him back home again. No…..that didn’t sound like a lot of fun. Oh, yes…..of course, they could have ridden the school bus. The school bus goes right past my home. But, while I may be just a little bit selfish…..I am not a mean person. To make a senior in high school ride the school bus every day with a bunch of kindergarten kids…..and first, second, third graders. Well, that is just being mean! No self-respecting high school kid rides the school bus any longer. It would be humiliating…..and I didn’t want to humiliate my exchange student.

And, of course, there was also the problem of what to do with them when I happened to be out of town for a couple days……or when I spent the month of April in Germany. (That’s sort of ironic, isn’t it? Most of my exchange students were German.)

No…..it just made more sense not to host exchange students any longer. For years, I had exchange student organizations calling me….sending e-mails….almost begging me to take an exchange student. There is an almost desperate need for host parents. A dozen or more exchange student organizations are all competing to place students. And, instead of accepting only those for whom they have found a home……they accept almost anybody who can pay the small fortune it costs to become an exchange student. Consequently, there is often a real glut of unplaced students for whom the organizations are frantically looking to place in a home.

OK. But…..back to my story.

How did I happen to become a host parent? As I said, it was almost by accident….or fate.

One summer afternoon I was in town, and I was walking out of the post office when I ran into a couple friends of mine. They had hosted several foreign exchange students in the past. Actually, I knew a couple of them fairly well. One of them had been a volunteer basketball coach on Saturday morning when I was in charge of the grade school intramural program. He was a good kid….somewhat more mature and serious than some of our high school students….at that time in history. Another of their foreign exchange students was on the high school cross-country team which I coached. He was a good kid….somewhat more mature and serious than some of our high school students….at that time in history. I liked both of these kids….and both of them did a good job and took their roles seriously.

Anyway…..the friend said to me….literally out of no where, “Why don’t you host a foreign exchange student this fall?”

I was taken by surprise. I had never thought of it before…..never even considered it. I am sure that I hesitated….really not knowing what to say. Actually, at that time, I had no idea what was involved in hosting a foreign exchange student….or even how to go about getting one. I had no idea what impact it would have on my life….whether I would like it or not…..whether I was suited to such a role or not…… But, he plowed on….telling me all the advantages: companionship, great learning experience, become familiar with another culture, promoting international understanding…….all of that kind of stuff.

Actually, I think he was merely trying to help out his area coordinator….who I am sure was being pressured from above to place students. After several minutes of discussion, he finally said, “Well, just talk to the area coordinator….and then you can make up your mind.” He promised to give her my telephone number so she could contact me…….and she did! Almost immediately.

We set up an appointment for an evening two or three days later…..after I had given her detailed instructions on how to find my house. This was in the days before the rural roads were numbered and each house had an address. In the meantime, she had sent me an application form to fill out.

Not knowing what to expect…..I spent the next day or two thoroughly cleaning the house. It was immaculate. On the appointed evening, the area coordinator and a friend (I think she was afraid she would get lost.) showed up. After she explained the program and showed me a lot of propaganda, I asked her if she would like to see the rest of the house. If I hadn’t volunteered…..somehow I don’t think she would have asked. Anyway, she said, Yes….she would take a look at the room where the student would be sleeping. After a casual glance……she said now I could choose the student that I wanted.

Somehow…..and I still do not understand why…..she showed me only TWO students. Those, apparently, were my choices…..the ones I had to choose from. Maybe those were the only two students left….or maybe they were the only ones who seem to fit with the information on my application form. But….I looked at them. I didn’t know…..they looked pretty similar…..six of one; half a dozen of the other, as my mother used to say. They were both from Germany. I ended up choosing one of them…..and that was it. She told me that she would be in touch on a specific day about two or three days later……and they left.

There was a problem, though. I was leaving for a vacation in Colorado the next day. No problem….. She gave me her telephone number and told me to call her.

On the appointed evening, I called her from my motel room. “You have a new son!” she told me. And, that is how I got into the business of hosting foreign exchange students.

Luckily for me, the choice was a good one. No….an excellent one. And, except for a couple notable bad experience, my choices were excellent for the next ten years.

But……hold on….. the story doesn’t end there. I went to Kansas City International Airport to pick up my student. I had seen only one rather bad picture of him. (This was long before we had Internet.) The plane landed….the passengers all started filing through the gate into the waiting area. I kept looking and looking for my student. All the passengers had gotten off the airplane…..and I was standing there wondering where my student was….what had happened to him. I was starting to get a mild feeling of panic. Had he missed his connection? Had he changed his mind and decided not to come? Had he had some sort of problems with Immigration Services? Had he seen me….and decided that he was going to go back home?

As I was standing there trying to figure out my next move, somebody tapped me on the shoulder from behind. I turned to see a young man standing there….obviously about as nervous as I was. “Are you Beryl?” he asked. (Actually he said, “Are you “barrel”…which is how all of my students pronounced my name when they first arrived.)

“Yes……”

“I am Sebastian.”

No wonder I didn’t recognize him. In all of the pictures I saw of him…..he had long hair….down almost to his shoulders. And, here, standing before me was a clean-cut young man with short, well-trimmed hair. I would never have guessed! No doubt, he had been advised by the exchange student agency to trim him hair……and look a little neater.

Another coincidence: As Sebastian continued to live with me throughout the 1993 school year, he often talked about his friends. And he often talked to one of his friends who was also an exchange student somewhere in the U.S.A. Over time….and after listening to several of these discussions and telephone calls…..I began to put two and two together. One day I asked him about his friend…..What is his name? Where is he from? Then I found the two student profiles that the area coordinator had given to me as my two choices. And…..Yes, you have probably guessed it: The other choice I had to choose from was his best friend.

I later met the “other” kid on one of my trips to Germany. He, too, was a super kid. But, I have never questioned my choice…..which was the right one.

So……that is how it all got started……and it has never ended. Although I no longer host foreign exchange student, for the reasons that I detailed earlier, I have branched out into a similar….and equally satisfying….endeavor. Instead of hosting high school students, who are almost totally dependent up on me for transportation, support, and supervision, I now open my home to adult travelers. These are paying guests….although I rarely ask for anything except that they buy some food now and then. They are adults, and they are expected to take care of themselves…..although most of them do not have their own transportation and I end up driving them. I am not responsible for them in any way……although I gladly give advice and counsel….when asked….and sometimes, even if I am not asked.

But…..back to the exchange students. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed my first experience. When the ten months were finished….I hated to see him go…..and I think he hated to leave. (At least, I would like to think so.) As usually happens….with him and with most of the others….we had formed a bond of lifelong friendship. When my first exchange student left…..he didn’t want me to get another student. He wanted to be the only one. The one I would remember forever.

But, it didn’t happen that way. Over the years, I had several more students…..each of whom I will remember forever.

More about them later. In the meantime, I will enjoy being their American Dad…..and their kids’ gray headed American grandfather.