In the Beginning….. Some Background

It has been a memorable and exciting summer…..the Summer of 2025. Maybe you are asking, “What could be so exciting and memorable about a summer for a guy who has been retired for 22 years, has two bad knees and a heart condition….and has trouble getting around.

Take my word for it. Despite all these true statements, it was a summer that I will never forget. To sort of paraphrase Winston Churchill, “The Summer of 2025, a summer that will live in my memory.” That oblique attempt at a paraphrase is only for those of you that were born before 1950…..or who maybe paid attention in your history class in school, which judging by the political mess “We the People” have gotten ourselves into are not very many of you.

After the summer of 2023, I took a time out from hosting guests….both American and foreign, but especially Americans. Over the past few years, I had hosted a series of American guests…..most of whom were basically losers…..drifters, migrating from one free homestay to another. Some of them were just plain weird. I never felt in danger, but some of them were strange enough to cause “Caution” signs to be posted in my brain. I did, however, wait until they were sound asleep before I turned off the lights and went to asleep myself. Needless to say, none of them became my friends, and I do not keep in contact with any of these misfits today.

Foreign guests have been somewhat more palatable. I turned town several potential guests…..almost all were females who posted provocative photos….apparently what they hoped would be “sexy” enough to trap some unsuspecting male. I am not going to get into that discussion……but you can probably figure out why I did not want them as “guests”! On the other hand, several of my male foreign guests were among the nicest, most considerate and most pleasant guests I have hosted. Of course, they probably had different “motives” than the female wannabes. Many of them still stay in touch.

In April, I got a request from a university student in Ghana asking about the possibility of spend the summer hiatus at my house. Wow! I had never had a guest from an African country. Well…. Let me take that back. I did have one! I am still trying to forget about him! The very afternoon that he arrived, he started lobbying (i.e. begging, scheming….) to live permanently at my house. He pleaded with me to adopt him, to hire him as my personal servant, so he could “take care” of me in my “old age”! He wanted my help in finding an American woman who would marry him. (Good Luck there!) Actually, just anything so he would not have to return to his home country in Africa. There was no way in the world that I had any desire or intention of doing any of these things. And, I told him quite forcefully and unequivocally. In fact, I gave him a deadline to move out of my house! After searching the Internet literally all day, every day, for about a week, he finally found somebody who would accept him as a guest. I drove him to the McDonald’s on the west edge of Lawrence. Without even turning off the car, I got his stuff out of the trunk…..and I drove away into the sunset, as they say in the movies. Obviously, I never attempted to stay in contact with him. Who knows where he is…. Who cares? He is undoubtedly somewhere in this country…..illegally…..trying to stay one step in front of immigration officials. Do you sort of understand why I do not choose to consider this guy as a “guest”?

Some Wishes Do Come True…..

So…. When I received the request from a guest in Ghana, I accepted rather eagerly. Maybe you asking WHY?, after the previous bad experience. The answer was simple to me…..but may be just a bit complicated to explain to others. But…. Let me try….without appearing to be strange, or insensitive or politically incorrect…..or even racist!

For most of my adult life, I have always wanted a black friend. I spent four years in South Vietnam, so I had (at the time) plenty of Asian friends. My younger brother was married to a Mexican lady, and I had friends among her extended family. I want to high school…..and graduated with…..a black boy. I can honestly say that I didn’t “know” he was black. He was simply one of my classmates whom I saw every day for four years….five if we want to include the 8th grade. Of course, in the Army I had black barrack mates. It is is difficult….and rare….to make friends with anybody under those transient conditions. During the 38 years I was associated with the Valley Falls school district, we had exactly ONE black student. I never taught him….or actually, never even met him…..during the brief time he was a high school student. For a brief time, I even considered adopting one or two black children and raising them. But, that was much more wishful thinking than practicality or reality! When I moved to Topeka and into my present townhouse community, I was sure that I would meet up with all sorts of diverse people and undoubtedly make friends with them. Well…. That was a vast misconception, to say the least. Nobody visits with each other here. We greet each other, nod to each other. But, I personally do not know of any serious, longer-term friendships which have sprung up here in our two-hundred home community. We can’t even get people to show up for a free holiday dinner! So….. I sort of abandoned that expectation….or dream.

Yes…. It is more difficult to simply say, “I am going to make friends…..” with anybody.

I belong to two international hospitality organizations. So over several years, I have accepted a variety of guests who have spent anywhere from a couple day to regular, recurring guests who have more less made my home their home when they are on break, on vacation or just want to come and spend some time. I have had both short term and long term guests from Germany, Saudi Arabia, France, Italy, Hong Kong, Israel… But, it seems, that guests from African countries are always denied visas, a policy, either justified or misguided, to enter the USA.

I was somewhat surprised to receive the request through one of the hospitality organizations from a university student in Ghana….a student who was already in this country attending a university…..to come and spend the summer at my house. And, he asked if perhaps his brother could also come and spend the summer here. I immediately replied to him through the hospitality organization. (This is definitely a commercial endeavor on their part! Put even one little bit of personal information in your reply….and the message will be kicked back almost immediately.)

Within a few hours I got another message from the student asking, if effect, if I am gay! Actually…..and I do not want to embarrass him any more than necessary….he asked if I was looking for a lover! “What???!!!” What in the heck is going on here? I had never been asked this question before. Actually, this is the sort of question that I should be asking him! But…. I thought it was hilarious…..and I was seriously tempted to answer in the affirmative and ask him if he was, too. At that point, I, too, began to get just a bit paranoid about him. We arranged to talk on one of the social medial platforms…..and both of must have been satisfied with the outcome of the conversation.

Probably the decisive moment for me was that he took the time to look me up on Facebook…..probably a very daunting task given that he did not know my last name. However, I am probably one of the few….. if not the only…. person with the name of Beryl who lives in Topeka and is a member of Facebook! Somehow he narrowed it down….and I received a “friend request” from him. After our visit on WhatsApp, apparently both of us were satisfied that all was OK.

I was scheduled to pick up Romeo and Mannie at the bus station at the rather obscene hour of 7:00 A.M. on the morning of Saturday, May 3. Due some delays, Romeo finally informed me that it would be closer to 9:00 A.M. It really didn’t make a lot of difference. I was already awake and ready to go meet them…..and given my sleep patterns, it was not a very good idea to go back to sleep.

When I pulled up in front of the bus depot, they were standing patiently waiting for me to arrive and sweep them off to Darrah Tower…..with a ton of luggage. And, that was my first encounter with Romeo and Mannie

Two other guests were already staying at my house, but only for Friday and Saturday nights. I told them that I was expecting two more guests….that, in fact, they had already arrived. Fortunately, they were leaving early Sunday morning. Romeo and Mannie spent the night in a downtown hotel. Immediately after the two guests left, I jumped into my car and set off to retrieve them. With that, we started our summer adventure together.

The Starting Line…

Any attempt to reconstruct a chronological chain of events would be futile….and probably not very accurate or productive. However, it is fairly certainly that we started off our summer together by eating….something that would remain an important part of our daily life. If I can believe the pictures we took, we ate twice that day….. Once at the Golden Corral for lunch and once at the China Pavilion in the evening. Under normal circumstance, the Golden Corral is one of the favorite places in Topeka for foreigners… non-citizens, at least….to eat. They are impressed, if not overwhelmed, with the huge selection of food which is available to eat…..And, even better….. All you can eat. Normally, I, nor my friends, eat in national franchise restaurants. We long ago ….back during the COVID epidemic when many locally owned businesses of all sorts were being forced out of business…..decided that it is far better to eat in locally owned and operated establishments. They didn’t tell me at the time….but did later on….that they did not like The Golden Corral. It certainly did not hurt my feelings! In a way, that was a relief, because it meant that I no longer had to compromise my belief by taking them there. The locally owned and operated China Pavilion was a different story…. Both of them approved of it enthusiastically.

Up top….to lead off with…..let me state with complete certainty that Romeo and Mannie were, in my opinion……and I hope theirs…..a gift from God. There is simply no other way to describe this chance meeting. Both of them blended into our “family” naturally and seamlessly when I seemingly need somebody the most. Within only a few days, they were no longer guests. I didn’t regard them as guests….and neither did they consider themselves to be “guests”. Throughout the three months we shared a home, they quickly became almost indispensable. They were attentive to my needs, and it was difficult to give them up at the conclusion of their stay. On the other hand, I think….and hope….they shared the same feelings and attitudes. If they don’t….then they can write their own blog outlining their side of the story. But, I do not think that will happen. Deep down in my heart, I hope they felt the sense of belonging, of love and acceptance. I hope they had discovered “home”…..a place where they are always welcome and wanted…..a family who cares….an atmosphere of trust and acceptance.

A Few Bumps in the Road…..

Now, having said all that….Let me address another “issue” which both of us had to address and to which we had to adjust. Maybe them a little more than I! But…. Who knows?

I think….and hope….that most people find me to be an agreeable, reasonable and rather laid-back kind of person. Yeah, yeah…. I can already hear people saying, “Only in your dreams!” I hope these people are in the minority. Because, I really am a nice person! (Don’t argue with me, or I will have to start shouting!)

Probably closer to the point of what I am trying to say is one particular facet of my core beliefs that “If I tell somebody I will do something…..you can bet that I will do it.” and also its twin, “If I tell somebody I will be at a place at a certain time, they can absolutely trust that I will be there.”

I think it was this unshakable belief that was perhaps the only cause….or most important cause….of friction between us during the three months we lived together. (Again…. If I am wrong, I will offer space for them to set the record straight!) Yes…. Probably sometimes I came off sounding mean….definitely impatient. I know because they told me so! That’s OK. Nothing wrong with that…. Anyway, I already knew what they were thinking. And, maybe….probably….I would have reacted the same way. Who knows? The bottom line resulted in sort of an arrangement: We would carefully go over the schedule the previous night…..and they did their best to be ready and show up on time. If this was the most serious obstacle we faced….and I think…hope….it was, then we did OK. I accepted the fact….and was happy….that they inevitably showed up on the dot….on the second. Problem solved….. Happy ending! I am not sure what else I did that irritated or annoyed them. If you ever happen to run into them…ask them. And, then let me know. OK? We can’t work out difference unless we know what they are. Right?

However, with all that said, the summer must be sounding rather dire. Makes me look like some sort of monster! Makes them look like villains! Not at all…. It was a great summer….one of the best I can remember. And, I still love both of them…. How good was our summer, you may be asking. OK… Let me tell you. As I said before, it is impossible to give a day by day, chronological account. So…. Let me simply touch on some of the highlights…..and see if that will make any sense.

Making the Best of It: A Tight Squeeze

One of immediate problems we….they….faced after their arrival was the sleeping arrangement. I have only spare bedroom…..and it has one full size bed, not suitable for two people. An alternative would have been for one of the guys to sleep on the top bunk in my room. That may have been a viable alternative in the winter. But in hot weather a ceiling fan runs continuously twenty-four hours a day. Sleeping on the top bunk could be a precarious thing to do……one false move could have resulted in having an arm or leg….or even one’s head…..or something else of equal or greater importance…. being decapitated. So….. Mannie bought an air mattress….actually more like a small inflatable bed….to sleep on. After some creative shuffling of the furniture, they managed to arrive at an arrangement that satisfied them. Or was simply the lesser of other evils. At any rate, they were happily encamped in their room for the duration of their stay. Oh, yes…. There was one notable exception: The air mattress developed a serious leak which caused it to bubble up in the middle….rendering is to be rather useless. So, poor Mannie ended up sleeping a regular mattress….on the floor. He certainly deserves a medal of some kind….or at least, a cookie, for this heroic feat.

Before abandoning this subject…. I will interject just a thought or two on our sleeping habits. At the beginning of the summer, sleeping habits tended to be semi-normal….at least, for me. But, as the summer wore on, bedtime tended to degenerate into a state of chaos. Probably I was not aware of everything that was happening in the beginning of the summer. Over time our bed time shifted from late…..to early. Early in the morning, I mean! Somewhere around 3:00 A.M or 4:00 A.M. Mannie was obligated to attend some online IT sessions which were erratic or unusual, to say the least. Stay tuned…..There will probably be more on this subject later.

Our Daily Fu-Fu….I Mean Rice…. (Please…. No Fu Fu!)

Once Romeo and Mannie had settled in, one of the foremost problems centered around our evening meal. They commandeered this responsibility, and I actually had very little….well, nothing…..to do with it. When 4:30 or 5:00 rolled around, it was a sure bet that they would be in the kitchen preparing supper. Usually, I would take nap. The timing was almost always perfect. By the time the food was ready to eat, nap time was over. To somebody completely uninitiated to anything that has anything to do with cooking, it was always a puzzle I never quite figured out! My cooking skills consist of such complicated chores as opening a can, putting something into the microwave…..or boiling water. For me, preparing meals are no big deal. It simply is not important. The quicker the better. A maximum of 15 minutes is plenty to spend on a meal. My dining room table is the kitchen counter…..or my recliner. Doing dishes involved such processes as rinsing out a can or throwing away a paper plate….and I am impatient doing even this.

Needless to say, I was more that willing to turn over anything involving food to them. In preparation for preparing the meals, we made a trip to Lawrence to an African food store. Since I would have been useless to them inside the store, I simply waited in the car. Don’t even ask me what they bought! We also make two or three trips to an oriental food market here in Topeka. Again…. I simply sat in the car and waited. And, again, I asked no questions about what they bought. I mean…. This would have been foreign information to me. However, our stalwart food supplier was good old Walmart. Apparently they had sufficient choices available to satisfy their needs. I didn’t attempt to interfere. It is better to just stay out of affairs that I do not understand….and do not concern me.

For the most part, I have no idea of the technical or correct names of the food we ate. They prepared it….told me when it was time to eat. I ate it…..was happy and satisfied. And, basically, that is the end of the story. I am aware that rice was an important and integral part of our diet. And, they explained that the rice is always eaten with either some soup, or some stew or some sauce. I never did distinguish between those three items. I also recognized….or was duly informed…..that we ate either chicken or fish with almost every meal. I think that sometimes there may have been some beef. Oh yes…. Eggs were also a common and frequently part our diet. And, yes…. I did recognize the eggs!

So…. Yes! The food was good. Yes! I knew we were eating some form or variation of rice….fish….chicken….eggs. And…. Yes…. I knew that there was always some kind of sauce, soup or stew to go on top of it. But…No….I never did distinguish between them, either by taste or by sight. But, one thing is for sure: I could….and did….distinguish that I liked it….and they were all delicious. Oh… How could I forget? The plantains. Most people in the USA would mistake them for bananas. I did! They look like bananas….and more or less taste like bananas. And they are commonly eaten in Ghana. Take my word for it… The best way to eat plantains are to slice them in to little circles…..and then fry them. They are delicious!

My introduction to Ghanaian food would not have been complete without a couple items which I simply could not convince….or even force…. my taste buds, nor my stomach…..to accept, enjoy or appreciate. One was called fu-fu, and the other known as banku. Upon several occasions both Romeo and Mannie tried to explain the importance and the desirability of these two foods. Yes… I fully believe that they are maybe two of the most common and delicious and tasty foods of all the foods in Ghana. I do not doubt that for even one moment. But… Now! Convince my stomach and my taste buds and my brain of that! Don’t even bother. I have already tried, and believe me….. It ain’t going to happen. Sorry…. If any of you readers ever have the opportunity to sample either of these two foods….. Go ahead! I challenge you! Who knows? There is always the possibility that you may like them. If, like me, you do not like it…..you can use it to repair holes in your sidewalk.

But, on the other hand… And, there is almost always “on the other hand”….. There are an equal number, if not greater number, of American food they find distasteful. This, however, you can ask Romeo and Mannie personally. I want to be fair. I do not want to prejudice my case.

To sort of summarize…. Yes, the food was consistently delicious! Two little footnotes, however: After the first time I ate the food, I got VERY sick. This happened only once….and fortunately was not an omen of things to come. It was my only unpleasant memory of the food. Now….A very good memory: I lost up to 8 or 10 lbs. during the summer. I can only assume that it was the result of the food they prepared. Hey….. Romeo and Mannie, maybe you should consider entering the dieting or weight loss industry! Maybe you will make millions with your diet!

Eating Out….Fine (and Not So Fine) Dining

Talking about food sort of leads me into another of our favorite activities of the summer….eating out….like in various restaurants. The first day Romeo and Mannie arrived, I took them to The Golden Corral. As already stated, this is where I usually take guests the first day they arrive. Normally, they are impressed…..especially guests from foreign countries. There is an almost overwhelming array of food to choose from: meat, vegetables, fruit, salad, desserts…. To me….and probably most Americans…it looks like food paradise! To make it even more appealing, it is a buffet….an all-you-can-eat buffet. Personally, I like the place! Who wouldn’t? However, back during the COVID pandemic, it fell out of favor with me and the people I meet regularly for lunch. Not because of the food…. That probably never happen….but because we felt it was more civically responsible and maybe even more ethical to eat in locally owned and operated eating establishments. Since many locally owned eating place were being forced out of business by the large national franchise places, it just didn’t seem right to support large corporations who had the resources to withstand economic hardships and watch locally owned establishments forced to close.

Anyway, getting back to the story…. For our evening meal, (and normally I would have not have eaten an evening meal after visiting the Golden Corral) we ate at the China Pavilion, a Chinese buffet. This is our go-to Chinese place here in town. As a general rule, we eat out about three times a week: on Wednesday with my friend, Jason, on Friday with my friend Sam…..and usually just the three of us on the weekend. As time evolved, we ate in several locally owned restaurant and cafes. We ate in places such as Abigail’s Bar and Grill, The Shack, El Dorado Mexican Grill, The Globe Indian Restaurant, The Bar ‘N Grill, Jefferson’s, Thunderbird’s Grill, Speck’s Bar and Grill….and there could have been other places along the way that I have forgotten.

We sort of fell into a predictable pattern of our individual favorite foods. You can almost always be sure that I am going to choose a grilled chicken wrap plus onion rings. Count on it! But, it was not only I who was predictable. You could probably bet you last dollar that Romeo would order a double cheeseburger or some sort, along with french fries; It was a safe bet that Mannie would inevitably order wings and fries. Another odd little fact….probably cultural, maybe not….While Jason, Sam, Joe and I always ordered iced tea to drink….a good old calorie-free drink….Romeo and Mannie almost always….more accurately, always….asked for Fanta. Sometimes the restaurant had it on hand, and they got it….sometimes they didn’t. On the other hand, we always got our iced tea! Good old U.S.A.

Somewhere around the middle of the summer, we began rating the places where had eaten. Having eaten at most of the places previously, my preferences, along with Jason’s, were already pretty well determined. Mine were The Shack, followed by probably Abigail’s and China Pavilion. Jason? Probably Abigail’s. Sam…. Definitely China Pavilion and The Globe Indian Restaurant. Romeo and Mannie’s favorites seem to shift a bit as we added new eating places. The least favorite, somewhat to my surprise, was The Golden Corral. By the end of the summer, it seemed that their favorite places were (and I am not sure of the order) The Shack, El Dorado, and The China Pavilion. We ate at a Mexican restaurant in Hutchinson a few times….a place called El Potrillo (The Colt). They liked the place from the moment they ate their first meal there. I think that had an influence on their rating of ALL Mexican restaurants after that. And, I also noticed they ordered the same meal in all subsequent visits to Mexican restaurants. Score one for El Potrillo! Muy bien!

Yes…. Food played a fairly important role in our daily life. And, not only were Mannie and Romeo introduced to a variety of cuisines….and appeared to enjoy, or least tolerate them…. I was also introduced to foods or different food combinations that were, to say the least, foreign to me. And, aside from the couple examples I mentioned, it was an interesting and satisfying experience. The moral of the story seems to be that all three of us survived, and even enjoyed, new culinary choices.

Oh Happy Day….our daily routine

Let’s take a look and see if we can sort out what usually happened each day. As I have already said, it was normally somewhere between 3:00 A.M. and 4:00 A.M. when we finally called it a day and went to bed. Knowing that it rather simply to deduct that none of were what one might call “early risers”. Generally speaking, I rarely saw either Mannie or Romeo until somewhere around noon. It think it fair to say I probably woke up before either of them did….somewhere between 10:30 and 11:00. Although sometimes I was surprised to see both of them awake when I crossed the hallway to the bathroom. This generally was not the case, however!

My normal routine was to get out of bed, take a shower, check email and Facebook and then go downstairs, turn on the TV and eat a bowl of raisin bran, like I have done for the past 50 years or so. I do not have any pictures to prove it….and they may deny it….but most generally when I glanced into their room, both of them were looking at a computer: Mannie looking at his laptop and Romeo looking at his cell phone. I really can’t prove what either of them was looking out…..only suspect. But, it is a fact. Something on those computers was very interesting. Tic Tok…. Tic Tok… Tic Tok…. Thinking back, I don’t think I ever saw either Romeo or Mannie eat breakfast. They could have sneaked one in while I was not looking or was doing something else.

Our day together officially started sometime around noon….or whatever time we had to leave for our afternoon activities. And, as a general rule, our afternoons were pretty well filled up. Of course, for me, my afternoon centers around the ubiquitous cardiac rehab and various doctor’s appointments. Yeah…. Not much of a life, is it?

Soon after they arrived, both Mannie and Romeo became interested in joining some sort of fitness center. Accompanying me to cardiac rehab would have been the ideal scenario….and a lot easier. Actually, I think both of them would have preferred this solution. But…Alas! This is a very “exclusive” fitness center. First of all, a person must be a cardiac patient….and second, and this may be the most prohibitive: You must have some sort of insurance. ONE session of the initial sixteen weeks costs somewhere in the neighborhood of $1200 – $1500 per session. Exclusive indeed! (Fortunately I have insurance that pays for it!)

Obviously this was not going to happen. The second best solution was to find a fitness center with a group price and no contract. After all, they were going to be here for only three months. After some intensive searching and flip-flopping on the outcome, we finally decided that joining the YMCA would be the next best solution. Back in the day… There used to be 3 YMCAs in Topeka. For years I was a member. Back then, if you were a member of the YMCA you could go to any of the YMCAs in Topeka. It was a fantastic deal.

Now, due probably to economic conditions, there is only one YMCA in Topeka. That YMCA is located right off 37th Street in southwest Topeka. Since I had never been there before, it took a couple practice runs to finally come up with the quickest and most efficient route to get there. Once this was determined, driving there became almost an afternoon ritual.

In the beginning, I had fully expected and intended to simply go to the “Y” four or five times a week and work out along side Romeo and Mannie…..and go to cardiac only on Thursday afternoon. After one visit, however, it was quickly apparent that The Heart Center….cardiac rehab…..had by far the most suitable, newest and user-friendly exercise equipment….for me. So, a pattern developed. I would drop off Romeo and Mannie at the YMCA, and then I would go to cardiac rehab. They were left to themselves to exercise until I picked them up after cardiac rehab.

They had ample time to go through their workout routine. At the cardiac rehab center, I work out for approximately 50 minutes…..and add to this my travel time going to and from the “Y”, they were faced with about 90 minutes of time to develop their (already strong?) bodies? As soon as I got into my car after working out, I sent a text message to Romeo that I was on my way to pick them up. I really can’t say for sure…. But, I think they may had looked forward to these messages!

Soon after we returned home, it was time to start preparing supper…for them, at least. I completely stayed out of that operation. The kitchen was their domain….and they were the masters of their domain! I have already described my culinary capabilities…..none of which were useful to them. While Romeo and Mannie prepared supper, I took the opportunity to take Nap Number 1. And, it worked out well. I turned on one of my CD’s and by the end of the first song, I was asleep. By the time the food was prepared and ready to eat, the music had ended….and I was ready to partake of their delicious, expertly prepared food.

Romeo was in charge of distributing the food. I am not sure of the exact formula he used, but, in the beginning the amounts were in this order: Romeo got the least (don’t ask me why), I got the second largest amount, and Mannie got the largest share….probably because he is the most muscular of us three. This ratio changed over time. I was getting far too much food, and I was afraid I would start to gain weight (although I never did) and Romeo moved into second place. Mannie started….and finished…..in first place. Probably fair and realistic distribution.

After the dishes were washed and stored away….and the table was cleaned, we went our own separate ways. I? I took another nap! Mannie was obligated to an online IT education session at 7:00. I am going to go out on a limb….although a fairly strong limb….and say that Romeo retired to an evening with his cell phone. (Speculation on my part….but a good bet.)

On a Summer’s Night…. Who Are These Two Guys?

Mannie…..

By 9:00 P.M. I had awakened from my nap….semi-refreshed, but in good enough shape to stay awake for several more hours. Mannie’s online IT session also ended at 9:00. He came back downstairs and our nightly ritual was to sit on the front porch and talk. These were pleasant sessions…..just Mannie and I….sitting and talking about whatever came to our mind. Mannie would often become philosophical and tell me of his life dreams and plans. Other times we would talk of things past….of his experiences in his home country of Ghana. Mannie could explain matters in the greatest of detail, giving examples or suppositions to prove point or to get his story across. Mostly I just sat and listened, occasionally interjecting a comment or a question. And while Mannie and I talked…. I took photos, usually much to his displeasure. I was not deterred. I took pictures of what was in front of me, sometimes with unflattering results. But, with time I think he realized it was better to cooperate. Pictures turn out a lot better that way!

I always looked forward to this hour alone….just Mannie and I. It was virtually the only time we spent together one-on-one. Through these nightly sessions on the front porch, I grew to know him better and have a much better understanding of him. Mannie is not only very intelligent, but he is also a very intuitive and thoughtful person. I grew to like and appreciate his quiet and unassuming manner, along with his high ethical standards. I do not recall ever hearing Mannie say an unkind word against anybody. He was always a joy to talk to. But, I also learned that beneath this serious and unassuming demeanor is a delightful….but sly and understated….sense of humor. Mannie can be a very funny person….although it was never in a loud or obvious or demeaning or degrading manner. Sometimes I had to do a double take to recognize or appreciate his subtle humor.

A couple things that I learned about Mannie as a result of the nightly times together. First, and foremost, he is a thoroughly good person…..a nice guy…..a good friend and a good companion. Plus…. He is smart! I also learned that he is an honest person….not only in the standard sense, but also honest with himself and with his feelings and in his personal interactions. I don’t think he would ever intentionally hurt anybody. He is very sensitive to the feelings of others, too. I have to chuckle when I think of the many times I teased him about his attempts to veil or obscure his attempts to be diplomatic with me. I would say something like, “You’re not telling the truth….are you?” Or “Come on, you can tell me what you really think.” Although he would rarely change his story, he almost always laughed or smiled…..knowing that I was right, but he did not want to admit it.

Mannie is going to be successful….very successful….one of these days. Just give him time. Let him graduate from college. He is already ambitious and inventive….full of ideas and concepts which someday will become reality. He is smart….catches on to….understands….things very quickly. He is a hard worker, and he is not afraid to put in long hours working and learning when necessary.

Yeah…. These front porch interludes were one of the memorable aspects of sharing a home during the summer. I was entertained; I was informed; and I grew to develop a strong respect for and an admiration of good old Mannie…my good old friend. One things I learned without a doubt: Mannie is Mannie. He is own man! Got to love and respect him for that.

When the alarm on his cell phone sounded, we knew that it was time to bring our conversation to a close for the night. The alarm was his signal that he had better get back upstairs to his room…..back to the ubiquitous IT sessions.

Shortly after Mannie disappeared to go back upstairs, I could hear another set of foot steps coming down the stairs… It was Romeo.

Romeo

Ah, Yes…. Romeo…. Delightful, little Romeo!

By the time he got down the stairs and took his usual place on the couch, I was already watching the top of the nightly local news. I am not sure we ever watched the news. It really was not very interesting or informative. Actually, the only reason I watch the 10:00 news is for the weather forecast….and it is usually wrong. Romeo was totally not interested….with either the news (which is mostly national news….and he had already seen or read it on his cell phone) or the weather, which he had also already watched. And, he was totally not interested in the sports report. Well….in the summer, neither am I. At one time, long ago, I was really into baseball. Nowadays, it is just a game that moves at a snail’s pace and thus is mostly only useful for wasting time. Our conversations were always more interesting than the news!

It was the show that followed the 10:00 news that we were interested in… Late Night with Stephen Colbert. Romeo likes politics…or at least, he seems to know what is going on even more than I do. And, even better, he and I both like Stephen Colbert because we almost totally agree with his humor and point of view….which means we also agree with each other. Harmony…..no discord here.

We joined the Perry Mason Show at its halfway point after watching the first half of Stephen Colbert. Yeah…. Good old Perry! Back when TV was young, this was an exciting, if not gripping, story. But… TV was in its infancy. We didn’t know any better…..because that was all we had to watch. Romeo and I both got a kick out of watching the show. By today’s standards it is mellow dramatic, over-acted to say the least, bordering almost on comedy. It would have been heresy to have said that sixty years ago. Perry Mason was a Top Ten show. But, today, as we sat and watched, about all Romeo and I could predict about the guilty party was to say, “It’s not him.” “It’s not her.” How did we know? Easy…. The guilty party was never revealed until the last scene….usually by that person jumping up and shouting something like, “Yes! I’m guilty! But…. You understand…don’t you? I had to do it!” Then the guilty person breaks down and sobs uncontrollably. Yeah…. A very realistic, authentic courtroom scene! We never took the show seriously….just an interlude before moving on. Perry Mason was always a nice transition to the remainder of our nightly TV routine.

Over the weeks, we more or less developed our routine. In the beginning, Romeo’s favorite program seemed to be The Big Bang Theory…..a show I find to be disgusting, but for some reason continue to watch, with Romeo, at least. After a few weeks we sort of weaned ourselves off watching this show. Well, we eventually reduced our viewing down to one….two, at the most…..episodes per night. Tolerable… I was never sure if Romeo got tired of watching the show…..or whether he simply got tired hearing my constant complaining about it. And, I admit…. I did! Romeo would sit and laugh uproariously, while I spent most of my time pointing out that nothing about the show was remotely humorous. No matter how you look at it…. Watching that program one time a night….even two….is better than watching four or five of them consecutively. Still not funny, though.

Strangely enough, somehow we got into the habit of watching rodeos. Romeo had never seen a rodeo in his life. But, on the other hand, neither have probably more than half of the people who live in the USA. This was an entirely new experience for him…..but one that used to be important in my life, but has long since faded into the past. Romeo became somewhat proficient (not as good he claims, however!?) at predicting the scores of events such as bull riding, bronco riding, bull wrestling… He was always very pleased with himself when he guessed an exact score….usually doing his little celebration dance. I was probably less interested…..or emotionally involved…. than he. This fascination with rodeos continued for a few weeks. It can be rather addicting….at least for a while. After several weeks of watching rodeos (Yee Haw!), our attention and interest started to diminish. The bull wrestling and the bronco riding sort of began to lose their excitement. We had satisfied our “inner cowboy” instincts. Our interests drifted to other late night TV shows.

Other TV shows….mostly game shows….were the standard fare: Wheel of Fortune, Flip Side, Switch…. These shows do not take a lot of concentration, to say the least. They do, however, serve as a nice background for conservation.

Yeah…. If you are thinking that we sat there blindly watching TV for four or five hours with a dumb, vacant look on our faces…. Well, you are wrong! Let’s put it this way: The TV may have been on for four or five ours, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we were watching it. The highlight of all those nights was the opportunity to talk, discuss and joke with each other. And, man, did we cover a wide range of topics as we sat there with the TV playing in the background! We solved the world’s problems….probably some that didn’t even exist…..political, social, economic; we sometimes covered a wide range of quirks in our daily life; we had a solution for every Perry Mason Show….We an answer for all the questions on every game show. We (mostly Romeo) clowned around; we tested our humor (mostly good natured put downs) and our sarcasm (A lot of that was mine….but Romeo dished out more than his fair share….but also done in a spirit of love and not harm.)

It is obvious that Romeo (and also Mannie) love their country and their culture. It was during these late night sessions that I learned a lot about Romeo’s culture and background….. Ghanaian culture and Ghanaian history. Sometimes I feel that I have earned my PhD in Ghanaian history….although it probably more like a Bachelor’s Degree. It is interesting to note how traditional practices and culture can comfortably co-exist beside today’s democratic government…..and today’s Christian religion.

One of the things I like about both Romeo and Mannie is that they will answer a wide range of probing….sometimes skeptical….questions about their history and culture. Whereas many people in their position might (and would) become defensive when somebody questions either their history or culture, they seem even more motivated to explain it in even more detail. Not only are Romeo and Mannie well versed in their own history, but they seem to have a fairly good grasp of today’s world and today’s problems.

Let me write just a couple sentences about Romeo. First of all…. He is smart! Intelligent! He knows a bunch of stuff….stuff that constantly amazed me. I suspect that he may have a near photographic memory. While he was here, I fully intended to give him an IQ test, but time is elusive, and we never got around to doing it. I will not be at all surprised to find that he has a very IQ….maybe even higher than mine! We will find that during another visit, however, when I intend to give both him and Mannie an IQ test. He is quite socially and politically aware. There are very few subjects that he can not engage in an intelligent conversation.

Let’s Call It a Day…..

Around 1:30 A.M. Mannie’s online IT sessions had concluded; he had taken a shower; and now he was ready to join Romeo and me for our “together time”. By now the TV has been turned off, and we were ready to sit and talk with no exterior distractions. Who can say what we talked about? Almost anything and everything….but now with Mannie adding his presence and his voice. One of the important things we attempted to do was attempt to finalize a definite schedule for the coming day. In general we were successful. Other than that, the conversation was wide-ranging….sometimes serious and sometimes light-hearted. Keep in mind that once Mannie came downstairs to join us….the conversation often took on a “two against one” nature. Romeo and Mannie were the “two”, and I was the “one”. There always seemed to be more than sufficient topics to hold our interests until the early hours of the morning. We rarely had a deficit of topics to occupy the time.

In many ways Romeo and Mannie are very comparable. Undoubtedly both of them are highly intelligent and have made the most of their education. They are both ambitious and hard working. They are both very personable. Maybe for me, however, one of their most important traits is that they are both very caring individuals. In today’s society, that counts for a lot….at least to me.

Romeo and Mannie are far from being carbon copies of each other. Both are unique young men; both have their own identifiable personalities. They complement each other in many ways. But, needless to say, they are both special to me….collectively and individually. Don’t even ask me who is my favorite…which one I like the best. That would be like asking parents which of their children they like the best. They are both special to me….both for their unique personalities and for their similarities. 1X1=1.

Yes… That sort of describes a typical day and a typical night. But, it is only a framework….sort of a skeleton….

Behind the Wheel……

Life more or less took on a predictable pattern. Events in my world tend to happen at the same time on the same day week by week. Maybe you caught on to that fact already: Get up….go to the YMCA or cardiac rehab….come home…..prepare supper….take a nap….sit on the front porch with Mannie….watch TV and talk with Romeo. However, another interest or desire loomed of epic importance in their minds. That desire or goal was to learn how to drive. I could sense almost immediately that this was of utmost importance to both of them. And… Why not? It was a skill that was not readily available to them in Ghana….but yet an almost vital talent or accomplishment to know in today’s world….and unquestionably important if they choose to remain in the U.S.A.

They were right. Learning to drive is not a luxury; it is a necessity….a skill that everybody needs to acquire. Of course, the normal expectation was that I would teach them. There are a couple fault or defects in that approach, however….neither of which I had any real control. First of all, I had just recently leased a new car. Legally….well, and practically…. I do not own the car. I am only paying for the legal use of the car for a certain period of time….and for a predetermined number of miles. Second: If I taught them to drive, they would have to have to appear at the DMV (Division of Motor Vehicles) to take not only a written examination, but also would have to pass a driving test. I had no doubt that both of them could…and would…..do this easily. But, it made more sense, and it was much more practical, to find a good driving school.

There are several driving schools in Topeka. After some investigation, we chose the Kennedy Driving School. I am really not so sure why we chose this driving school. Maybe it cost the least. Maybe because they offered quicker results. Romeo and Mannie later read some online reviews of the school. Some of them praised the school…..and others thought it was a rip off. At this point…. We were stuck with it!

Our first visit to the school was pleasant, and the woman behind the desk was eager to help….maybe just a good sales person. At any rate, she explained the procedure or format of the classes: An almost all day introductory session which, I suppose, could be called the “text book” session. By piecing together information that Romeo and Mannie provided, this session covered the driving rules, protocols, traffic laws….things of that nature. Both Mannie and Romeo seem to have enjoyed it….if one can enjoy that kind of thing for six hours or so. However, they liked the instructor….felt they learned a lot and in an entertaining manner. In the long run, they finished the instructional part of the class. And, both Romeo and Mannie passed with perfect test results. So…. All is well that ends well…..

The next part of the driving school was a little more tenuous, and it gave us a few days of concern. Upfront the instructor told the members of the class that the actual driving would not be scheduled for another couple weeks after the classroom sessions were complete. (Something that the lady behind the desk neglected to point out.) There was nothing to do but wait. At the end of the two weeks, we started to become a bit concerned. Still no word from the driving school. Still no practical driving schedule. The weeks were passing by…. June had already passed. We were entering the first week of July. We planned to leave the last week of July on a trip. What is holding them up? Why haven’t they contacted us? When will they start to drive? All these question loomed uncertainly in our minds.

We had already asked a couple times when the driving lessons would be scheduled, but the answers were always vague, if not evasive. Personally, I was becoming impatient. Although I can’t prove it, I suspect that except for Romeo and Mannie, a large majority….if not the entire class…..lived in Topeka or very close by. The lady whom we always dealt with knew that they were living in Topeka only until the last of July….and then they, by necessity, had to return to college. I began to have doubts and second thoughts about the integrity of the school. Surely they would understand the situation and make favorable arrangements for Romeo and Mannie to complete their driving expeditiously.

After probably three weeks, their driving sessions were scheduled. Romeo completed his first session of driving on Thursday, July 10, and Mannie started his sessions on Thursday, July 11. Once the lessons started, they were scheduled in a timely manner, much to the relief of all us us. Both Mannie and Romeo were very enthusiastic about their driving instructor. He was knowledgeable; he was patient; he was thorough….and he also had a good sense of humor and a large repertoire of stories and anecdotes that kept them engaged during the three hour sessions of practice driving.

Both Mannie and Romeo “graduated with honors”, so to speak. To say they were pleased and excited would be an understatement. They were ready to get behind the wheel and drive. The next formality was to schedule appointments at the DMV to apply for their driver’s license. Both of them came out of the DMV with happy smiles on their faces. And…. Why not? This was a major milestone in their lives…..in the life of any young man.

During the next two weeks, I took them driving as often as possible. Keeping in mind, I do not own the car I drive….. We basically started our driving sessions at Forbes Field….a former air force base that is now a combination of military air base, regional airport and commercial establishments….mostly business and industrial warehouses. For all practical purposes, Forbes is deserted, at least of traffic. Very few vehicles drive on the streets of the large commercial/industrial complex. It is an ideal setting to practice driving. It has corners, traffic signs, parking lots….almost everything needed. Except it had no traffic. I felt quite safe starting the practice driving there. And, I think they were satisfied to start there.

After a couple sessions at Forbes Field, we graduated to city driving. For the most part, they drove at night….and drove separately. Romeo drove around 7:00 P. M. while Mannie was occupied with his online IT sessions. Mannie took over around 9:00 or 9:30 and drove until until it was time for him to return home for another online session. Mostly we just drove spontaneously….randomly….around town. One of the pattern we developed was to drive the length of the major north-south streets: California, Adams, Kansas Avenue, Topeka Blvd, Gage, Fairlawn and Wanamaker. Then we switched and drove the length of the major east-west streets: 29th Street, 21st Street, 17th Street, 10th Street and 6th Street. These are the major streets in Topeka and are probably the streets where they were bound to encounter the most traffic.

Both of them performed admirably. Of course, before we left the house, I made sure I had taken my heart and blood pressure medicines…..and I checked to make sure my life insurance policies were up to date! I didn’t have to worry about my hair turning gray! My hair is already silver. I am not generally accustomed to riding with another driver, let alone a beginning driver. But, their improvement was steady….and they gained confidence through these nightly sessions. Probably the next time they return, they will be my designated drivers.

On the Road Again…..

Most of you already know that traveling is one of my passions. I love to travel and see and experience different scenery, environments, cultures…..and see how the rest of the world lives. And, believe me…. Living in Kansas all my life is not typical of, nor a reflection of, the rest of the world. Travel and see the world, as they say….

This summer was no different….just not on a very grand scale. Time was a limiting factor….maybe the major limiting factor…..in taking off for an extended trip. On a less ambitious scale, we managed to squeeze in a significant amount of time away from the environs of Topeka, however.

We took two trips out to my hometown area of Lyons/Sterling/Hutchinson. These towns cannot exactly be certified as tourist destinations. They did, however, serve three practical purposes: First of all, they got us out of Topeka for a few days. Second: They gave me an opportunity to show Romeo and Mannie where I spend my youth. Third: I…and they….got to spend some time with some of my family members.

The first journey was over the Memorial Day Weekend. Since finding a hotel which has three beds is virtually impossible, we rented a small house for the weekend. This seemed to be an ideal solution….and in theory, it was. We searched the Internet and found a three bedroom house which was reasonably priced. Communicating with the owner proved to be a bit problematic, however. I paid the rental fees online at least two weeks before the trip. I expected an immediate response from the owner. A week went by…..then ten days…. Understandably (to me, at least) I began to become just a bit apprehensive. Why isn’t the owner contacting me? What’s going on? I pictured the three of us arriving in Hutchinson with no place to stay. Or, maybe worse yet, having to rent a hotel room at the last minutes…..having already paid the rent on the little house. Finally, about three days before we were scheduled to take off for Hutchinson, I sent a message to the booking agency. They gave me the owner’s telephone number. Probably this was something I should have done at the very beginning, but not having had any experience in renting short-term housing, I assumed (falsely) that the owner would contact me immediately. I learned a lesson!

The owner told me that he would leave the back door unlocked….just go on inside….and call him when we arrived, and he would bring the key to the house. Upon arrival, we followed his instructions. While were waiting for the owner to show up, I sat down in what appeared to be a comfortable recliner…..and it was. The owner arrived shortly thereafter….gave us a key….and sat and talked for a few minutes. It turned out that he was a nice guy. Soft-spoken, willing to please….and also a Democrat who shared almost exactly my own political views. Wow… This is going to be pretty nice!

And, it was pretty nice. Both Mannie and Romeo had their own bedrooms. The house was neat and clean. There was Internet….and a TV. It was not until after the owner had departed that I began to discover the real truth about the house. For Mannie and Romeo, there is little doubt that the place was ideal. It had everything we needed…. At least, everything they needed.

Where shall I begin? First of all….and this revealed itself almost the instant the guy closed the door to leave….. The nice…and comfortable….recliner had one disastrous fault: I could not get out of it! I could not stand up! Maybe I am trapped here in this recliner for the rest of my life! It was only after a great deal of effort…..and even that is blurry now….that Mannie and Romeo managed to help me stand up and get out of the recliner. It was a Herculean task, but they finally freed my from my comfortable little prison. I suspect they were considering calling in either a crane or a forklift! The problem was that is was a “rocker”, and there was nothing firm and unmovable on which to push down to lift myself up. Needless to say, I never sat in that recliner again.

The next unpleasant revelation came as we were leaving the house to go pick up some food to eat. There were three or four steps leading up into the house. And, there was a hand rail to hold onto. Good. But… The door was designed to open outward, covering up the hand rail….blocking access to it. Smart thinking by somebody! I wonder if the person who installed the hand rails even understands what he did. He obviously does not need help climbing steps. I need to hold on to hand rails in order to climb up steps….any number of steps. Fortunately, Romeo and Mannie were there for me to hold onto…..each of them sort of acting as my hand rail. Without them, I could have not made it into the house. I was just lucky! They both did a good job. It is possible that if the college thing does not work out…..they can get a job as human hand rails.

The third problem….and it is a common one: The house had a rather old-fashioned bathroom. Unfortunately, there was not a separate shower. In order to take a shower, I would have to step up and over …..well, a 15 or 16 inches bathtub. That conceivably was possible IF the bathtub would have had grab bars. I am sure you are ahead of me by now… No, the bathtub did not have any grab bars…..not even one! The result: I was not able to take a shower for the three nights we stayed there. It was a real bummer. I did manage to more or less wash myself in most of the vital places, though. Take my word for it…. It is not the same as being able to take a shower.

The fourth problem… Well, to some people it may not have been a problem. But, here we were, about three hours from home with not a lot of choices on how to spend an evening. The little house had a TV and also TV reception. But, it was not exactly what was advertised….misleading, at best. There was no cable subscription; no exterior antenna to coax in local stations. The only type of TV programs available was a subscription to Roku……no local programs; no live network programs. Romeo more or less had command of the remote control, and after repeatedly scrolling through the available channels, we more or less alternated between “Family Feud” and “The Big Bang Theory”. I had literally not watched Family Feud for several years. And, as I pointed out previously, I find the Big Bang Theory to be nothing short of disgusting! Family Feud is not quite as objectionable…. But, how many episodes of that show can a person watch without turning off the TV?

And…That is more or less what we did. Fortunately, we had taken three games with us: Trivial Pursuit, Password and…..you guessed it, Family Feud. Playing Family Feud is a little bit better than watching the TV show…..but not by much. And, I want to give him credit…. Romeo is really quite good at that game. Why? I do not know. Maybe he sits around the entire day watching it! (Just as side note: Neither Mannie or Romeo were a match for me in the game of Trivial Pursuit! Mannie usually fared pretty well in Password.)

Although I think the TV situation was a misrepresentation….misleading at the least…. in the description of the house, playing games was actually rather fun. Romeo was probably the most enthusiastic when he won….and he is already a happy guy….and treated us to his impromptu victory dance after each victory.

I have probably made this house seem like a miserable dungeon. It wasn’t! It was really a pretty nice place. The problem was that it simply was not properly equipped for a person who has mobility problems…. Like me, for instance.

Our second visit was somewhat better, at least, in the area of lodging. My cousins invited us to stay in their parents’ former house….which they still maintain in hopes that some day it will be occupied by one of my cousins who currently resides somewhere back East…. Delaware, New Jersey…. All the same…aren’t they?

The houses were similar in the fact that they both have three bedrooms. That, in itself, was a major attraction. However, again, the only TV available was an over-the-air antenna which hung in the front window. Romeo and Mannie moved it around until they found the most advantageous place to hang it. At most, we were able to pull in maybe ten or twelve TV stations. At least, we were able to watch some local stations and catch up on local news and weather.

Again our evenings were mostly spent playing games….again. The games are fun to play….and they gave us something we could do together. Even they, however, get rather tiresome after a while. They mostly gave Romeo a new venue to perform his victory dance.

For a town the size of Hutchinson….approximately 45,000 people…. there are surprisingly few attractions. I took Romeo and Mannie to the Salt Museum….the Stratica… I have already been there two or three times previously. And…. There is a lot of walking. The first time we went….on a Saturday….all the tours were fully booked. It was a disappointment, but, judging on past visits, it never occurred to me that the museum was ever booked to capacity. For their return visit on Sunday, I reserved the tickets online, thus assuring they would be able to tour the museum. I dropped them off, made sure they were in the correct tour group….and then I left them on their own. I drove over to Carey Park….put the seat back….and took a nap. Since I did not go down into the salt mine, I will leave it to Romeo and Mannie to give an account of their experience…..if they want to.

The other major tourist spot they visited was the Cosmosphere….the space museum. Wow, I have been here more times that I can count. When I had foreign exchange students and when I had foreign guests, this was always the “go to” place in Hutch. There is a fairly impressive of space memorabilia to look at…..especially for a town like Hutchinson, which does not even have a commercial airport. For those who are interested in space and all things related to space, this is an interesting place to visit. If you have no interest in space…..then you probably aren’t going to be very engaged. And, to view all the exhibits, there is a lot of walking. Maybe a good way to accumulate your desired number of steps for the day, but still a lot of walking. The first couple times I toured the Cosmosphere, it was somewhat interesting….maybe a six on a scale of ten. That score diminished proportionately in succeeding visits.

The day Romeo and Mannie toured the museum, I again simply dropped them off to fend for themselves…..and again I headed for Carey Park for a nice nap. You should probably ask them about the experience.

Perhaps my favorite place to visit is the Hutchinson Art Guild. It is a small gallery with ever-changing exhibits. It primarily features the works of local area artists. I am going to openly admit that this is probably the only place in Hutch that I really enjoy visiting. I am not so sure about Mannie and Romeo, however. I would like to think they enjoyed it. But, they might tell you that the experience was sort of like being punished for a crime they didn’t commit. Nonetheless, a good cultural experience really doesn’t hurt anybody. In fact, it can be a good thing.

Our first trip to Hutchinson was on Memorial Day Weekend. The main purpose for going to Hutchinson was really to visit some of my relatives who live in the area. We met my niece, Wanita and her husband Doug for breakfast on Saturday morning, and then proceeded to drive to Lyons so I could put flowers on the graves of some family members. I wouldn’t swear to it, but I suspect this may have been a “first” for both Romeo and Mannie. However, I think they understood the meaning and the purpose of the yearly ritual.

Showing Romeo and Mannie all the nostalgic sites from my childhood and youth was certainly one of the more pleasurable activities for me. Keeping in touch with where I came from and the places and events that have formed or influenced my development and helped determine who I am as person today are useful and important to me. And, when I am visiting with other people, I feel the same about them. If I were to go to Ghana, one of the foremost things I want to see is where Romeo and Mannie grew up…..the house they live in…. their old neighborhood ….their school(s)…..where they used to work….where they spent their free or recreational time. Knowing their past helps me to know them in the present.

So…. We visited the sites of places where I once lived during my childhood and teenage years. I only lived in two different locations while I was growing up. Neither home is still physically there, but the property is. They saw where I went to school, including my old elementary school and the high school from which I graduated. We took a brief tour of Sterling College….drove through downtown…..spent some time at Sterling Lake, which serves a dual purpose of being the city swimming pool and also the city park. I hope they somewhat understand that I was….and still am…. a small town boy….a boy from the farm. If I ever have the opportunity to visit Ghana….and I hope I do some day…..these are the sort of sites that I hope they will show me.

But, as I said earlier, the main reason for the two trips to my hometown area were to visit with family members. As mentioned earlier, we met my niece and her husband for breakfast Saturday morning and ate in our usual place to eat breakfast…..IHOP. Normally, I do not eat in national chain restaurants. But, in this case I make an exception because it seems to be the favorite breakfast for my niece. Oh…. There is nothing wrong with IHOP. Their food is good. But, since COVID we….my friends and I…..have sort of made it a mission to eat only in locally owned and operated eating establishments. We think it a noble and wise decision.

On both our trips out home, we also visited with my second cousin, Luann and her husband, Dennis. They are delightful people whom I enjoy visiting. On these two occasions, I got to introduce Mannie and Romeo to them. They liked them immediately. Dennis took them to his workshop and let them lend a hand in making some hand made jewelry, while Luann and I sat and visited. After a while….a long while….when it was time to return to our little house in Hutchinson, Luann and I walked to the workshop to check on them. They were still actively engaged with Dennis and his craft projects. Actually, they were fascinated with the work he was doing…..and very impressed with the outstanding projects he was working on. All of his projects are finely and expertly crafted….with an abundance of attention to the fine details. His work is on the same level as that of a professional, in my opinion.

It took some time to coax Romeo and Mannie away from the workshop. They had fun….and they became thoroughly engaged in the process of producing the fine craft projects. After their first visit, a second visit was high on their list of priorities.

Each visit was concluded by a visit to the local Dairy Queen where all of enjoyed a Blizzard before returning to Hutch.

Our second trip to Hutchinson was over the long 4th of July weekend. This was a new experience for them….celebrating the birthday of our independence from Great Britain. We arrived at Sterling Lake around 7:00 or so. The fireworks display was scheduled to commence at approximately 9:00….about the time the sun disappeared below the western horizon. That was two hours before the first of the fireworks was fired into the sky. Back in the “old days” this would have been more than early. But, that was long ago. When we arrived, a large crowd of people had already assembled. The parking space where I had parked for several years…in the past….was taken. We found a parking space about two blocks or so from the lake. This was the absolute closest parking space we could find.

We sat in the car and waited….and waited….for more than two hours. For the intervening two hours, a steady stream of people walked past our car, blankets or lawn chairs in hand, all heading for the lake. Little did they know that we probably had the best vantage point to watch the fireworks display! Those people were going to sit with their head tilted back for a full thirty minutes or so. From our viewpoint, we could almost look straight ahead and still see them just as well….and maybe from a better perspective. We were satisfied with our location. We could see the fireworks perfectly….and they did not disappoint! Mannie took several pictures which we could look back upon and enjoy to help us remember the evening. When the fireworks display had finished, we were doubly happy about our parking space. We escaped the surge of traffic….and headed for Hutch.

The only real problem….for me….was driving back to Hutchinson in the dark. Something which I do not like…..and something I probably should not do. But, we made it safely. Mannie and Romeo had celebrated their first 4th of July.

We also spent a day at Sam’s farm. And, immediately before they had to return to Louisiana, we took a four day trip through eight of the North Central states. That will be addressed at a later time.

Carpenter, Painter…..and other skills

I don’t know if one would call it a hobby or something else…. I suppose that would be a personal opinion…. But I have more or less dabbled in painting for five or six years. And, dabbling is an apt word to describe it. I always point out that I paint abstract paintings. This is a general cover excuse for those that turn out poorly (which, unfortunately is most of them!) and people have to ponder what the painting is all about. It doesn’t make any difference, however…..My paintings are for me! And, you know what? I really don’t care what other people think of them.

Normally, as I said, my paintings are only for me…..to hang on the walls of my townhouse…..to cover space! On occasion I may do a painting for one of my close friends, especially if I know they will value the source of the painting more than the painting itself. And… They do. I know my friends quite well. They like the paintings because they know that the one hanging on their wall was done for them….and them alone. That makes me feel good when friends regard my paintings are treasured object and display them prominently in their homes. It gives meaning to the saying, “It is not the gift; it the sentiment behind the gift.”

When I first suggested to Mannie and Romeo that perhaps they would like to paint something for me…..or for themselves…..they greeted the idea with a rather luke warm response. However, after a few weeks, both of them began to warm up to the idea. After a few failed attempts, all three of us finally rendezvoused in the basement and proceeded to paint.

Both Romeo and Mannie completed a painting for me. And, each of them is hanging prominently on wall of my living room so everybody can see them. They can be assured that they have permanent rights to the space, and will never be removed. I like both of them, not only because they are attractive paintings, but because I know they were painted just for me.

Before they departed to return to college, I offered a painting to both Romeo and Mannie…..a painting of their own choice…..one already hanging on the wall. As luck would have it… Wouldn’t you know it? They chose two of my favorite paintings. I was just a little sad when they took the paintings down from the wall. But, on the other hand, I am happy they both recognize quality when they see it! They recognize the fact that if they keep the paintings long enough…..they can sell them and retire comfortably for the rest of their lives!

They also made a brief foray into another creative area. I needed two small night shelves to be constructed for my bedroom. One choice was to call Carter, my regular helper, and ask him to come down and help build them. He would probably have readily agreed. Carter is a kind-hearted young man…..and also a very caring kid. He normally comes down on Sunday afternoon to help out with things I can’t do for or by myself.

But, I thought…. Why not ask Romeo and Mannie to help build the little night stands? Building was new territory to them….something they had never done before. They readily agreed. As always I had the lumber pre-cut at Sutherland’s. Having the lumber pre-cut is a significant time saver. And, most of the time it is cut more accurately. We followed the usual procedure of using the picnic table in the back patio as a work bench.

With the lumber already cut to the correct lengths, the two tasks remaining were to stain the lumber, along with a coat of polyethylene….and then to assemble the two units. I furnished Mannie and Romeo with latex gloves (a necessity when doing any sort of staining or painting.) Mannie applied the stain to the boards, and Romeo wiped the excess stain off the boards. I watched and give instructions! Teamwork! There is little doubt that Romeo got the “dirty job”. Wiping off stain is by its very nature “dirty”. The good news, an over-the-counter spray called “Goof Off” will readily remove stain from the skin. Both Romeo and Mannie immediately sprayed a liberal amount on their hands…..and they were as good as new.

We took a brief break in order to give the boards time to dry….which they do very quickly, especially when there is sunshine and a breeze. By happy chance both of these factor were present on that Sunday afternoon. After the lumber had dried, they carried it into the house where they proceeded to assemble the little night stands. This also was a job they had never done. They caught on quickly, and together, Romeo holding the lumber in place and Mannie using the cordless drill, the stained lumber quickly took on the form of shelves…. Just what I needed! Needless to say, both of these little night stands will remain by my bedside permanently.

It Runs in the Family

Just to keep the record straight, if for no other reason, I am going to squeeze in another brief activity that lasted about as long as it will take to read this section. Being an old cross country coach, I usually ask people I come into contact with if they like to run. A surprising number of them say, “Yes”….. Consider Fayez, Sultan, Robert….even Sebastian. But, also not surprisingly, most of them say a rather resounding, “No!” It really makes no difference to me either way. But, I do recall spending uncountable hours….pleasant and productive hours, I want to emphasize….with these guys out on the Ferguson Road (the country road which passes about a mile from my house in Ozawkie) and also at Paradise Point, an abandoned state park a few miles to the south.

Long ago I came to the conclusion: Either you like to run….or you don’t! There is, in my opinion, not a lot of middle ground. Those people who like to run….just for sake of running….are sort of special breed. Whether a person likes to run, or whether he does not, is irrelevant. There are dozens of ways to exercise, and everybody has his own preference, not to mention his own adaptability and suitability. It is a personal choice.

Both Romeo and Mannie agreed they would like to do some running….just for exercise. I suspect they came to this decision rather reluctantly or grudgingly…..but they may disagree on this point. Nevertheless, they decided they wanted to do some running….just to keep in good physical condition.

The closest nearby place near my townhouse to run safely is at the public walking track at Highland Park High School, just down the street from me. To make a long story short…. I took them there three or four or five times to run. After that, it just sort of faded away int the proverbial sunset.

A Little Help from My Friends

All of the activities which are listed and explained above were all highlights of the summer, and all of them contributed to making the summer an enjoyable and memorable few weeks. But, let there be no mistake, for me, these pursuits are by far not the most important events or outcomes of the summer.

Romeo and Mannie made my life so much easier and pleasant and less stressful and brighter….and… Well, I could go on with these adjectives, but I hope you understand where I am going with this. When I am living alone…. Let’s face it: Sometimes I struggle a bit in taking care of things. For sure…. I have a loyal group of people who sort of watch over me and watch out for me. If I need help….it is never more than a message or a telephone call away.

But, the joy of having Mannie and Romeo living with me this summer….the summer of 2025….removed almost all of the obstacles I normally face in the course of a day or week or a month. They were constantly attentive, always eager and willing to help….often anticipating my needs even before I had to ask.

They were always beside my when I had to stand up. Oh…. I can almost always stand up, but it take effort. Romeo and Mannie were there, offering their hand or arm. Any time I had to step down off a curb….or step up on a curb….they were there offering their arm. For anybody who has not had bad knees or a bad back, perhaps you will not properly appreciate this. For anybody who has not lived with pronounced heart arrhythmia and has to contend with the constant lack of breath will not understand what I am talking about. It is difficult, to say the least. These seemingly insignificant details…these gestures of assistance…. made a huge difference in the quality of my life.

Romeo and Mannie more or less simply took over, without being asked. They took out the trash (constantly….so often that the supply of trash bags started to seriously dwindle.) They carried groceries from the car into the house….something that I previously had to in multiple trips…..or simply leave them in the car until Carter came down on Sunday afternoon. One of them carried my laundry from the basement to my bedroom…..and even folded it for me! As I discussed earlier, they prepared all the meals and did all the dishes. In the area of preparing meals, I was more or less simply left out of the loop, so to speak. And, with a couple exceptions, which they know about….and so do you, if you were paying attention earlier….the food was delicious and well prepared……and apparently healthy.

I spend most nights at home alone. I really am not lonely. I see and interact with a lot of people during the course of a day. And, I talk constantly to many of my former foreign exchange students and former guests. I use the time to read, paint, catch up on responding to messages. I watch TV, most usually after 10:00 P.M. Time rarely hangs heavily. But, what a vast difference it is having Mannie and Romeo living here. It the honest truth…. During the three month they lived here this past summer, I didn’t read a single page of a book. Not one page! Except for the night we spent painting together…..Not even once did I pick up a paint brush. There simply was not time. They provided in-person companionship…..and I enjoyed it.

Romeo and Mannie could pull off a surprise, too. My birthday was on a Monday this year. I had probably told them, but since Monday was the day we were to leave on a four day trip, I more or less dismissed it from my thoughts. Celebrating birthdays on the road are simply not very practical. For the past several years, birthday celebrations have not loomed very high on the horizon in importance to me. At my age, I am more thankful than anything else. And, I have long passed that stage where a birthday part is expected. We do not pin the tale on the donkey at my age. No ponies to ride or elephants to perform. Maybe a girls jumping out of a cake might have been acceptable…. Like that was ever going to happen!

As we were sitting in the front room on Sunday night….and it must have been pretty late since Mannie’s IT session doesn’t wind up until 1:00 A.M…..when both Mannie and Romeo disappeared into the kitchen for a brief time. This is nothing unusual….nothing that would attract attention. When they returned, however…. They were carrying a cake! Actually, it took me a couple seconds to fully realize what was happening. It was a birthday cake! I was honestly surprised….even a tiny bit shocked.

“Where did you get that cake”? And “When did you get that cake?” And “How did you do it without me seeing it?” Yeah… They had pulled the entire thing off pretty smoothly…..and slyly. We frequently went to a bakery in east Topeka to pick up various pastries. After the first couple visits, I normally sat in the car and waited while Mannie and Romeo went into the bakery and selected the pastries. I always ate the same thing, so choosing one for me was no problem. Apparently, they had ordered the cake on a previous visit. I was certainly not aware of it. And…. They carried it to the car, placed it on the floor in the back seat, right in front of me eyes. I never had a clue what they were doing. I do not ever recall seeing the box. Why would 1? This was a routine we had repeated so many time. And….even more.. They put the cake in the refrigerator on the bottom shelf. I am sure I opened the refrigerator door several time. Never once did I see the cake…..right there in plain sight. Or maybe they had disguised it.

Nevertheless, when they carried the cake into the front room that Sunday night, I was caught completely by surprise…..a happy surprise! After singing the ritual Happy Birthday song….and that was quite a production in itself….they presented me with the cake. I cut the cake….. It was probably after midnight. So I was treated to a surprise birthday party…. It was a good and wonderful way to start my birthday…..my 87th year on this earth.

Another event which may seem insignificant to others, but is very important to me is that I was able to go to church on most of the Sundays. Mannie also wanted to attend church services. Even though he does not attend the same denomination as I, he generously, and eagerly, looked forward to attending my church, The First United Methodist Church, for the Sunday service. It had been literally well in excess of ten years since I have been able to attend church services in person, even though I wanted to. In order to enter the front entrance to the church, where I always entered in past years, one must walk up probably 10 or 12 steps. Even though there are hand rails, I was very hesitant and fearful that something bad might happen…like tripping or falling….or suffering some other major catastrophe. So I was forced to stay at home and watch the Sunday morning service online. Watching the service online is a welcome substitute which has not always been available…..and one which I greatly appreciate. But, nothing can replace the satisfaction or the joy of attending church services in person. And, Mannie made this possible. And, a joyful feeling for me was that he enjoyed and appreciated the service as much as I did. It is acts of kindness such as this that really bring me joy and satisfaction…..and that there really are some good people left in the world.

Forever Grateful…..

The event that reinforces my belief that the two guys… Romeo and Mannie….. were sent to me as a gift of God….or were otherwise destined to spend the summer with me was of a much more serious nature.

One morning I woke up to go to the bathroom. I knew almost immediately that something was not right. I had experienced the feeling before. I was so tired that I could barely hold my head upright. It was difficult to put one foot in front of the other because I was so exhausted. It took all the strength I could command to even stand up. To compound the misery, something was wrong with my vision; objects were blurry. I could not see clearly. There was a tightness in my chest.

I had encountered these symptoms before…..about two years earlier. I ended up in the emergency room of the hospital….and subsequently in the cardiac unit. So…. Yes, I had a strong suspicion of what was happening. I was helpless to do any thing about it. I had left my cell phone in my bedroom….and there was no way I was able to go retrieve it…..even though it was only a few feet away. Was I frightened? What do you think? Oh course, I was.

But, by an act of God, Romeo and Mannie were in their bedroom, also just feet away. Mannie….I think….was still awake, engaged in his online IT session. I called to them. Fortunately, and by God’s will, they heard me and immediately came running to the bathroom, where I sat rather helplessly.

To make a long story short…..but, by no means less important….one of them called
9-1-1 to summon the an ambulance and a rescue unit. Both of which showed up minutes later. I am not going to belabor the situation, but I am more than confident that their presence….and their quick action…..were vitally important.

They also called by friend, Jason, who showed up in the emergency room a few minutes after my arrival.

I do not dwell on what the consequences may have been had not it been both for their presence….and for their quick action.

By the time they showed up to visit me in the afternoon, I was feeling considerably better, and we slipped back to our familiar routine of talking and joking….and playing an impromptu game supplied by one of the nurses. I hope that by now you can feel my gratitude and gratefulness to these two outstanding, caring young men.

Farewell ‘til Next Time……

Well, friends and family….. That’s what happened in the Summer of ‘25. The highlights, at least. It is a summer that I will never forget….filled with memories that will remain with me forever. This report covers only the “highlights”, as they say. As I read this in the future….and as they read it in the future….there are bound to be times when one of says, “Oh, yes…. Do you remember this? You left it out of your blog.” If….or when….that happens, I will add them.

The day Mannie and Romeo left was bittersweet….for me, at least. Even though I was bound to miss them….that the house would seem quiet and empty….that I would have to prepare my own meals…..that I would miss our nocturnal conversations and camaraderie….. They were going back to Grambling University to continue their education, preparing themselves for bright futures. We agreed to stay in constant touch with each other….. And…. We all saw the goal before us….That we they would return in November….and we would take up where we left off.

I think they know that they now have a “home away from home”….and the light is always on….there will always be some rice to cook….